Into the Wild
Self Reliance: what is it? Signs of overconfidence
What is it in psychology?
Some do not clearly understand the meaning of the word “confident”. Seeing a successful person, they consider him just that. But this concept, according to experts, is more negative than positive. Others, on the contrary, too “blacken” this trait of human character, confusing it with inflated self-esteem or overconfidence.
As paradoxical as it may sound, psychologists say that under self-confidence lies nothing more than a complete lack of self-confidence. The language and behavior of such a person are full of boasting. The self-confident are ready to praise themselves constantly, although in reality, even if they have any talents, they are just afraid to use them.
It seems that a selfish person is a proud person. And if you look at it more closely, you can see the same features as the offended child. By the way, all these qualities come from childhood.
Pros and cons of self-confidence
Sometimes self-confidence brings positive results. For example, when a person may not respond to excessive criticism and continues to go his own way. The problem is that such people have everything in the highest degree. This means that self-confidence often becomes excessive. Its excess leads to financial failure – too self-confident person can make a mistake, while not doubting for a moment his rightness. He will invest in a bank that, according to all forecasts, will “burst” tomorrow, but his self-confidence does not allow him to analyze the situation and the market.
Excessive self-confidence hides other dangers. Such a person is often unable to adequately assess their appearance and health. He diligently does not notice any defects, which often leads to the fact that he carefully hides his health, even from himself. Blames everything on bad weather, mood, others. As a result, a visit to the doctor is not even postponed, and is not considered in principle.
Overweight people are often found among the self-confident. They do not react to the remarks of friends and relatives, do not want to understand that it not only spoils their appearance, but also leads to serious consequences. Confident of their superiority, such patients come to the doctors when it is too late, if at all, and another distinguishing feature is the tendency to self-medicate.
After all, excessive thinking also does not lead to anything good. Therefore, if you recognize yourself as a citizen, it’s time to think and adjust your behavior, lifestyle, view of yourself and others. After all, even the most ingenious artist will remain unknown if he does not have enough self-confidence to open his own opening or show a painting to a recognized master. No book will be published, even if its author is the second Pushkin, if he puts all his manuscripts on the table and does not show them even to close relatives and friends.
How to increase?
To become a self-confident person, but not to overestimate your own capabilities, you should take a few steps. This will help to use inner strength and easier to solve any task, both professional and personal. First of all, change your attitude to criticism. Yes, it is not always pleasant and sometimes not constructive. But this is only occasional. Often from those who criticize us, we can take our lack of experience or knowledge. Treat such conversations as lessons in school. Some of the knowledge gained will be very useful in the future.
The second rule is to celebrate your victories. Of course, you should not go to a party with friends after each successful step. Keep a diary and write down your achievements – the transition to proper nutrition, regular visits to the gym, courtesy, everything that was not typical of you before, but what you could achieve. This is your list of victories. Very soon the defeats in life will be much less.
Third, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You can stay perfect only by doing nothing. Don’t take every mistake as a complete failure. Try to learn to laugh at yourself and your shortcomings. Remember what Munchausen said? “All the nonsense on earth is done with a serious expression. So smile, gentlemen. Laughter not only lifts the mood, but also prolongs life, and often helps to find a way out of the most difficult and sometimes deadlocked situation.
And the last thing – dream, set new goals. You have already earned an apartment, a car and even a yacht, but it does not give you pleasure? Talk to yourself. And what do you really want? Maybe you’ve always wanted to travel a lot or dance in the most expensive samba school in Brazil? Remember your children’s wishes and go to meet them.
The most common prerequisites for this are two completely opposite conditions.
The first is that adults make excessive demands on the child, harshly criticize him for the slightest mistake, ridiculous appearance, lack of physical strength, some talents. For example, parents have made up their minds that their child must become a great violinist, and the child “stepped on the bear’s ear.” No matter how hard he tries, he can’t live up to the hopes of his relatives. The first in rage, the second – in complexes.
The second reason – the descendant is bathed in the praise of relatives and teachers. He is taught from young nails that he is the smartest, most beautiful, most capable. As a result, the young creature will believe so much that he begins to consider himself omnipotent, although in reality he has no talents, desire to learn and work on himself.