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Kate Whiting of the World Economic Forum states that closing the gender gap will take 108 years, as stated in its 2018 Global Gender Gap Report. Sexism is not over yet. In fact, countless women experience sexual harassment or violence online or at work, Claire Lampen of Mic explains. Sexism happens everywhere and it becomes a pervasive norm in a woman’s life.
Hence, parents want to protect their child from sexism and other harsh realities given the above-mentioned facts. But it’s time to teach yourself and your daughter to stand up against sexism.
Linda Simpson of HuffPost writes that you need to teach your daughter to counter sexist remarks even at a young age! Deflecting sexist comments is a skill. Sadly, this is an essential life skill for your daughter. Your child is vulnerable when she is in middle and high school.
For instance, adolescent 9- to 13-year-old girls experience a sharp dip in confidence, according to the Canadian Women’s Foundation, an organization that furthers gender equality in Canada. A girl’s drop in confidence makes her vulnerable to sexist remarks. Hence, there is a need to develop effective strategies to help your daughter deal with the impact of sexist words or actions. Do note that sexism does not occur solely in schools. It also happens in the workplace.
Having healthy self-esteem is essential in dealing with life experiences. Moreover, making your daughter feel in control of the world is the epitome of self-confidence. Here are some ways you can help your daughter:
Ask Questions
“It is best to start at the beginning by asking your daughter if she has experienced sexism,” Simpson suggests. Simpson acknowledges that it may require examples. The author recommends using the news to initiate a conversation on sexism. Then, ask your daughter about her experiences. Sexist comments can inflict devastating effects on your child, especially if she’s a teenager.
Ask your daughter how she felt upon hearing sexist statements. Let her articulate her feelings. As a parent, remind your daughter that sexism is a form of bullying. Coping with bullying also applies to sexism.
Parents often think that children can understand terms, identify examples, and express their own feelings. However, it is important for you to help your daughter identify sexist remarks at the beginning of the conversation. Connect your daughter’s emotions to those comments. Simpson admits that knowledge is power. But it’s better to offer clarity.
Formulate Coping Strategies
Help your daughter create strategies. For example, you can instruct your daughter to say, “Please don’t say that to me again.” It’s simple and direct, but it has to be said in “a calm, clear” manner. Generally speaking, it’s enough to make a bully flinch. Simpson says that “bullies are bullies because they get away with it.” Playing the role of a bystander does not address bullying. Raging out is not a solution either. Therefore, a calm and direct solution is the best approach.
It’s true that sexist words can throw anyone off guard. Sexist remarks are declared in situations where thinking on one’s feet is a challenge, Simpson notes. Thus, it’s important to prepare your daughter in advance. Another alternative is to ignore the sexist comment, but that sparks speculation. Others may think that your daughter either did not hear or does not care about the bully’s comment. It can be both, too. Unfortunately, it perpetuates the issue rather than addressing it.
Make Your Daughter Feel Safe
“Your daughter needs to feel it is safe to tell you or a school staff member if the problem persists,” Simpson says. Your daughter’s teacher should be made aware if a student in your child’s school is sexist. State the facts and exclude your opinion. Your personal reaction to the incident is irrelevant.
According to the website of the Girl Scouts of the USA, you must remind your daughter that it’s not her fault if she experienced being on the receiving end of sexist language. Sexism is never okay! Your child need not go through this alone, remember that. Tell your daughter that everyone has the right to live in peace.
Check Yourself
UN Women states that people “have unconscious gender biases.” Perhaps there are sexist gender roles and stereotypes that you’ve internalized based on society’s expectations. Along with your daughter, you need to challenge sexist stereotypes that plague media or elsewhere.
Also, be mindful of the verbal and non-verbal messages you are sending to your child about women. Do you have the habit of criticizing a woman’s appearance? Do you make assumptions about a lady’s fashion style and looks instead of their skills? Avoid body shaming at all costs! It’s a learned behavior and it’s important for you to be a good example. Reject negative stereotypes surrounding women or any individual’s body.
How about the reading materials at home? Do they empower or objectify women? Be sure that you yourself are not contributing to sexism! Be aware of how society grants free passes to boys who exhibit vulgar behavior towards women and girls. One example by Girl Scouts is “Oh, honey, he’s only teasing you because he likes you.”
Be a Good Example
Model good behavior in front of your daughter. Unfortunately, this may be hard considering that TV and movie scripts include sexist language. Girl Scouts recommend asking your daughter if she heard a sexist remark from a TV show you’re both watching. Ask her whether or not that remark is appropriate. If your daughter does not say anything, explain why it’s inappropriate and unacceptable.