Our new world is about Social Media, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. You should not only “look fantastic everyday but be the best in everything you do and everything you touch turns to gold”. Others lead and one should follow since we do not have the capacity, knowledge or belief to be successful within ourselves. So many self-help coaches have been created as a business out of people lack of ability of being themselves and having low self-esteem, wanting to have the success and fame of others. These coaches often preach to us, selling their books and ideas, incidentally making considerable sums of money from this new lucrative business. However this essay will discuss why we should respect and be our own person not comparing ourselves to other people becoming just as happy as any other individual.
- Firstly one should try to avoid comparing yourself with others because as murphy law says there is always someone, better, stronger, wiser, more articulate, better looking, superior in all traits, as one sees the list goes on and on to infinity.
In fact how good one is lasts as long as the person can carry on achieving fame or recognition, as soon as this stops the person is forgotten, like taking your first footsteps as a child, which person as adult remembers this phase in their life. Even when one is at the peak of whichever profession they are involved in someone will come along and be better, smarter and break their legacy.
Life isn’t fair! Some people are born with more advantages than others: A perfectly symmetrical face. Rapid-fire metabolism. Wealthy parents. In spite of this age often catches up with one self, for example no one remembers a 70 year old person for their achievements 30 years previously, thus all your success is often forgotten to the history books of your life.
Unfortunately this may make one feel sad or perhaps unhappy, in spite of the fact that you were the best at this profession maybe in the world at one stage and in some cases even may make one commit suicide. Close to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. Suicide is a global problem and happens at any age, although many factors are the cause, one factor is comparison. One may resent why others now have the fame or recognition you once had. It’s like taking a picture of oneself when they were 20 and when are 70 (if one lives that long) and comparing both pictures no matter how one has tried to conceal the aging process one can clearly see the difference in the pictures. Therefore comparison even to one’s young age can be futile.
- Secondly, if you are not that great in many aspects of life for example academically or physically talented, and suddenly people around you who were far better leave, for whatever reason, you always came second to them academically or physically this will promote you to number one since now there is no competition in your way.
All of a sudden you may feel proud, arrogant, honored about yourself, feel better than others even though you have the same ability or talent as before. This way of thinking may make one feel superior to others often looking down at people, making one not a balanced individual, changing ones personality to use and abuse people. For example, many people who had great managers now become the manager try to copy their previous mangers but unfortunately often cannot make the organization prosper as their previous bosses did. Wondering why the company is getting bad results under their leadership.
The manager who was successful was his own person and had talents, of leadership, control and allocating roles. One should have their own qualities if one wants their business or whatever they do to be recognized and to be acknowledged and not compare themselves.
The first and second points combined will lead us to the third point Others’ so-called ‘perfection’ is an illusion.
If one wants to be better, greater, richer, stronger, superior, better looking than others all one has to do is to make other people who are in direct competition, look awful, cheap, dreadful and unacceptable. In this way they can make the person look inadequate and take their place. Here the people are not comparing but making others compare themselves to them. They show up in the right places at the correct times, others see them all the time on social media and feel they must be successful. These individuals will convince people that they are of higher caliber and competition from others has no comparison. People should only really compare themselves to them since they are now the success of life. Therefore one is only comparing themselves to people who show they are the only ones who can bring you success, an illusion in reality.
- Fourthly when we are comparing ourselves to others we are really being judgmental or subjective. This aspect in us does not help us develop as human being.
Yet if we use others as a benchmark to evaluate ourselves, that creeping twinge of jealousy may undermine our ability to truly cherish the good things that come to others. We cannot feel happy for others and their success. Humanity is complex and in making comparisons only do we know what our deep inner intentions are and why we judge others and why it is hard to accept others for their success. In other words we need to learn from our experiences and regardless of the situation we find ourselves in, through our personality and self believe in our lives, becoming successful within ourselves this is another reason we need to not compare ourselves with others.
- Finally, leaving it to last, one of the most important reasons not to compare ourselves with others is simply to copy their fame or fortune to do the same thing and act in the same manner since one believes the results will be similar.
Here people don’t take into account the person’s charisma and personality who are successful in their field. People may like you and give you an opportunity to succeed because of these factors which one may lack. If one is always acting as in a play, others may see through this pantomime and usually do not help you, since in life without people’s help and guidance little prosperity can be achieved? When you copy others you may come across as fake and spiritually lacking integrity. People often help one another if one comes across and honest, sincere, respecting others and their ideas. Therefore one should be genuine and not copy others since they believe it will bring them fame and fortune.
All the reasons above show that we are exclusive to ourselves, we have a self-worth, have our own desires, ambition, hopes and dreams. The only comparison that we really need to make is with our own consciousness, how we develop and evolve as an individual. To copy, to make others feel bad, judge others may bring success to us but temporarily and not long lasting. There will never be anyone exactly like you. You were given special gifts and talents to share with the world, and even though everybody has special gifts and talents, nobody will use theirs quite the same way you do.– Jen Sincero What we should always strive to do is to be ourselves and accept who we are, knowing that life is played out differently for all of us. Perhaps you want to bring joy and happiness to people or be generous to people however small one can do this. This will ultimately make us better and happier. What in my opinion is the best part of existence is self-reflection which makes one always think about themselves.