Family values. Family values don’t seem to mean as much as they used to socially. The American family has changed since the 1950’s and is still changing today. The economy has declined, school systems and a close-knit family has declined as well. The post-war era brought baby boom and thousands of jobs. America was also the place to live out the so-called “American dream”. Now, America is still a strong country, but we are struggling in our families.
Both parents are working to make ends meet and more. Kids are involved in gangs, drugs and teenage pregnancy. Where have all of the values gone? Are we socially deprived with our families just to live? We need friends, but we most certainly need family. I have learned over the years that family really does make a difference in our children and us. The American family will never be like it was in the 1950’s, but we should take into consideration the impact it made on our leaders, present and past, so that we can ensure that our future will have the same impact.
I remember former Presidential candidate Dan Quayle talk about family in his campaign for the White House. That was the eighties and I was far from believing in “his” family values. I was a teenager then and all I had on my mind were drugs and ditching school. I had no clue that life would as complicated as it got. It was very frustrating for me to live at times. I was an only child and growing up with my grandparents was not always fun. They had “old fashioned family values”. Back then that was disgusting to me.
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Now it is invigorating. It is invigorating because when I think about the way my parents and uncles growing up, they must have had it made. Mom was always there to ensure her kids were fed and their homework was done. What is so wrong with the family values of yesteryear? I think many families got away from that as the times changed. As time went by, the family got younger, greater in number and the jobs got scarce. Desperate times called for desperate measures. The male or father of the house was no longer the sole breadwinner. Mom had to work too just to do more than “get by”. Some children work on the weekends and their summers to make a little extra cash because that old allowance probably doesn’t exist in their house.
However, a good summer job always helps a kid develop some responsibility. I think that is why many families now are struggling with their children. Instead of taking time to teach and mentor their children, parents drug them up with Ritalin and television. It is not all of the parent’s fault, they are trying to pay the bills and keep the house. Many parents are active with their children and very involved in their education and development. Sometimes that is not enough though. I have had some friends that came from very good families and they still ended up in jail or on drugs. A parent can talk to their child all day about not doing drugs and the child will take drugs anyway. I believe that is so because if the parent does not regulate who the child’s friends are, those friends will undermine what the parents have tried to instill. I am a casualty of that theory. I am a parent of three boys, I am always reflecting on my actions, my words and tone, and my beliefs to ensure my
children have all of the resources they need to go far beyond succeeding. Academically, socially and mentally. The article on “America’s changing families” was well written. The author expressed her opinion about many things that affect a solid family. I don’t believe that there is a one sure way to raise a family. As with various types of relationships, there must be compromise. Parents must compromise with their children; parents must compromise with each other. I think respect for one another and patience are two important values.
Many parents give up. Many parents cannot juggle work, school and family time in one sitting. I do believe however that parents need to put their family first and prioritize everything else second. Every family must have values. The decline in the family structure will lead to social failure. Our future leaders are our children. We must accept the fact that we are to blame if our children fail. Every parent wants a child to be successful. When children become unsuccessful adults and fail in the world we ask, “Where did I go wrong?”
The failure may not be entirely the parent, some kids need more attention and love than the parents can give. It is important to understand that children will learn how to do bad things before they learn the good things. Why? Because they’re fun. Many kids today take the values they’ve learned from home to their future and their families. We must instill better values in our families than we have learned as children. When I was a child and I got out of line, I got spanked with a belt.
I would never hit my kids like that. I don’t believe in inflicting pain to a child to make my point. Some kids however, never learn from that experience and end up beating their own children or spouses. Families will never be perfect, but it is important to ensure we are doing the right things and setting the right example. We cannot expect our children to strive for success and leadership as adults if we do not lead them to it as children. There are family values still in existence. Values vary from house to house, culture to culture. Values are not meant to be harmful. They are the principles of the social and family structure. I hope that the leaders of tomorrow have the values they will need to succeed.
References
- APA – Changes in Family Structure
- The Impact of Employment Patterns on Family Formation
- The Influence of Family Structure on Substance Use, Delinquency, and Academic Achievement Among Brazilian Adolescents
- The Impact of Family Violence on Children and Adolescents
- How Does The Changing World Impact Your Family Today?
- Family Values, Social Needs and the Work-Life Balance: A Comparative Analysis of European Countries
