Have you ever heard the saying, “Stay a kid for as long as you can.”? I wish I would’ve personally listened to this statement. Growing up I should have been more aware of my actions because now I’m not able to take them back. While growing up fast will prepare you for real-world situations, growing up too fast taught me a hard lesson by, failing school, getting kicked out the house, and having parents who won’t financially support me because I thought I knew everything. Most people can identify with being seventeen before and thinking “I have life all figured out.” It was my senior year in high school; everyone was telling me to act like such an adult, yet they treated me like a kid. I had my first boyfriend, but I felt as if he is was going to be my last.
Everything was coming at me so fast that I would tell myself “You can have fun now and study later.” At first, I would forget one homework assignment, then it became two and so forth until I realized it had become a pattern. I had finally come to reality and understood I didn’t have it under control anymore. My dreams of getting into Western Michigan University were over because my grade point average dropped from all the procrastination I was doing. I couldn’t let my mom know she was right when she said I wasn’t finishing my school work; I stayed up all night finishing missing work from months before, so I could turn it in for half credit.
Maybe if I listened when everyone said to slow down, I wouldn’t have been in that predicament. I knew she was only telling me certain things to help me, but I thought I could handle it on my own because I was about to be eighteen. When I started settling with the lowest grade I could get to be considered passing I knew I was becoming average if not lower. I was constantly reassuring myself that it was just a phase and I was better than that, embarrassed when people asked what my grades for the card marking were; that was when I knew it was time to make a change. When I had brought my first boyfriend around, my mom didn’t know how to cope with it and she said I changed. I felt like she didn’t understand I was growing up and soon had to live a life of my own.
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Like every mother and teenage daughter, we had our disagreements, but they soon started to take a toll on our relationship. I was always with my mom. She took me everywhere with her; I never wanted to leave her side I held her in such high regard. We weren’t one in the same anymore, and she didn’t know how to handle it. As time went on, my mom and I said things that weren’t meant and did nothing but grow further apart. I was trying to prove a point that she couldn’t control me and that I was my own person and coming of age. I stayed out for days at a time, missed curfew and wouldn’t answer the phone when she called. During that process I became disobedient and self-absorbed; she wanted nothing to do with me. She dealt with me when she needed to, but most of the time my mother tried to keep her distance.
During the days I was home, I was like a ticking time bomb that could be set off at any moment and once again she was fed up. My mom was walking on egg shells in her own house and couldn’t take it anymore. It was as if I was becoming the adult and treated her as she was the kid. Suddenly, my mother was not with the disrespect anymore. She had reached her boiling point; she told me if I didn’t abide by her rules I had to go. The three days on my own felt like years. Not having a car to drive, I didn’t know how I was going to get around: she was my provider and showed me that I wasn’t ready to be on my own. Staying at my friend Courtney’s house made me realize I had it easier than most.
My mom was never asking for too much and all she wanted me to do was respect her and my stepfather. When I came back home we tried to have a family talk. I still didn’t want to follow her rules I felt as if she wasn’t trying to compromise for the both of us. It took three times for her to put me out and show me I couldn’t do it on my own for me to finally learn my lesson and change my ways I needed my mom I’m only seventeen years old and was trying to figure out my next step with minimum funds.
Eventually my mom and step father realized kicking me out wasn’t enough. I could stay in the house but for that to happen I had to start providing for myself. This was the most challenging task of all I overcame. Learning how to finance my money so I could make sure to survive until the next paycheck is not easy at all when I had people around me that hung out all the time. I slowly started to isolate myself from my friends because I knew saving money was more important then. I would go back and think to the times where my mom called my phone and if I would’ve answered it, I wouldn’t have to pay my phone bill now.
All the extra money I had was now gone; I was starting to learn there is a downside of wanting to be grown, it’s called responsibility. I only wanted the highlights of being considered an adult not the challenges. Once again, I realized I needed my mother financially and mentally. She was my provider. The one I went to when I needed help. Living with other people besides family helped me to understand that there are always going to be rules I am required to follow anywhere I go. No matter how old I am, if I’m living in another person’s house I am expected to respect their rules: if I don’t they aren’t obligated to let me stay. Until I get my own house I’m always going to respond to someone whether I like it or not. I’d rather answer to my mother, the person who makes sure I’m secure, than Courtney who has never done anything for me but let me stay at her house for a few days because she felt as if she was doing me a favor.
Staying with Courtney and her mom; I realized my mom isn’t bad at all. She just cares and wants us to respect her because she went through hell and back for her children. Often, I took the things she did for me for granted. I didn’t give her the proper respect she deserved. Being against your mother does nothing for you. It makes life unbearably hard. As I would try to be stubborn and not ask for help, it would hurt her to see me struggle. At times she wanted to come and help me, but she had to show me that its harder out in the real world than I think it is. No one is going to be there to back track my steps for me like she was, and I took that for granted. The only person who saw no wrong in me thought everything was wrong with me. Mothers forgive as they love their children and only want the best for them, but they can also do that at a distance.
I drove the people away that were always there for me away, however; I understood this too late. I had already gone to the maximum level of disrespect. It was to the point where she had called the police on me to show me she was not for games anymore. Talking to the police gave me a whole new perspective on life. It’s not my place to judge my mom; I wouldn’t want her judging me. My whole family shunned me, they wanted nothing to do with me. I took her as a joke and she showed me how far disrespecting people would get me. My biggest regret is I could never take any of it back. Only thing I could do from now was move forward, so I had to become a better me.
Overall, it may be said that growing up fast has it benefits but being disobedient taught me more of a hard lesson then it helped. While going against my parents felt like a constant battle that I knew I could not win, I didn’t want to show that she was needed. My mother especially couldn’t figure out why the person that stayed on her side didn’t want to be in the room next to her. Next time I even thought to say I can’t wait to be grown, I had to reassess myself “You can’t go down that route again.”
