Here I am glowing with happiness, health and joy. Happily married with two kids, looking forward to welcoming the third and rounding up my PhD. I never looked like what I have gone through, the torture, the pain, the tears, the scars are all gone! They made me who I am today. So, if I can, then you can! You can hire a fulfilling life after the damage, there is life after you have been tagged worthless, there is life. A whole lot of life; if I could survive it, you could too!
Behind the big smiles, joy, happiness and success you are currently witnessing lies many years of struggle, excruciating pain, anger, harassment, anxiety, sorrow. In fact, it got to an extent that I once considered committing suicide, ending it once and for all.
Growing up as a young girl. I was raped thrice at the age of 8, then weeks later, and a year afterwards – before the whole story changed and I experienced the worst part of my life at the tender age of 13 after falling prey of a’ big sisters’ lies – a predator. Big sisters – as they are normally called are the neighborhood sisters who live large, wearing expensive dresses, expensive lifestyle and prey on innocent young girls into their business. The young girls are being deceived and manipulated, they promise to get them a job that will enable them to afford expensive things – just like them, they are promised big cars, house, clothes and expensive lifestyle. Big sister, Lucy as she’s called sold me all these lies, and I fell for it, just like any innocent child from a poor background might do. I am from a village where we are all poor we want bigger things, we have bigger dreams, just like the full moon of a village night.
My story is that of a young village girl. Rainy season in the village usually comes with farm work, children (boys and girls), young and old engage in farming as a means of sustenance. Sometimes, children are requested to work on farmlands for relatives or family friends. We go to their farm to assist them in their farming activities, just like they will do to us if the need arises. One day my uncle sent for me as usual. I went with the hope of working on the farm, on getting there, the already clouded sky busted and it started raining heavily, the rain was so heavy that I couldn’t return home in the rain. My uncle invited me in to wait till the rain stops unknowingly to me that he had other plans. He got closer to me, i moved back some steps, he moved closer, i tried to move backwards until i felt the wall behind me. He started touching some parts of my body which makes me feel uneasy, he then pulled my pants and raped me. I tried but I couldn’t get him off me, I cried, I shouted but nobody could hear me as the heavy downpour on the metal roofing sheet couldn’t even let someone in the neighboring house hear the cry of a hopeless child.
He told me not to tell anyone that it was just a game played during the rain which I have never played before. I got home late at night, feeling weak and battered, but my mum didn’t notice. I don’t know how or what to tell her. Few days later, he sought for permission from my widowed mum to allow me to go with him to the farm so as to get some farm produce for us to eat. My helpless mum ordered me to follow him instantly as we’ve had nothing to eat for the day. I obliged, on our way to the farm, he grabbed me from the back and took me to a remote corner.
There, he fulfilled his desires. I have no idea on how explain what had happened, we weren’t thought anything about sex or rape while growing up. It’s a taboo in the village for minors to talk about sex. We believe it is immoral. I was ashamed, furious and angry on myself. I felt incomplete as girls of my age in the village usually boast of virginity – it’s a thing of pride.
Down the village square, there is a neighboring sister. Big sister who act differently, she wore clothes that are considered indecent in the community – but who cares, she drives a car, lives comfortably and any visits the village once or twice a month. I had no idea of what she’s up to.
One day while weeping bitterly alone under a mango tree after another bad experience with my uncle she was driving down the street, she stopped and interrogated me, she asked why I was crying and ordered me to get into the car, she give me a piece of handkerchief to wipe my tears and told me how beautiful I am, she said ‘ How would I just let my beauty to go to waste in the village when I can earn big, become rich and live comfortable more that she is’ she told me her meeting with me is that of a God-sent Angel. If only I will give her the chance to assist me – I will have to promise her not to tell anyone as that could stop her from assisting me. I promised her instantly, she gives me some money which I have never seen in my life, I felt that’s way too much for me, but she told me to keep that for my upkeep. I thanked her and left.
A week later, I got her message from a girl requesting me to meet her at her residence, I was happy, and I left without telling anybody. After all, I have been thinking of how to cut ties with my rapist uncle.