The family is a foundation of a society and it has multiple terms according to social, cultural, economic and many other elements. As per my understand family is who we love and also an association who sacrifice their lives for each other nd the place we starts our life journey. There are numerous types of families all over the world to match every lifestyle and levels. For instance, nuclear family, extended family, single parent, gay and lesbian.
Sometimes the structure of the traditional family is yet the same but the function of family has changed over the years because according to Robinson () families are deeply reactive for individual and social changes such as births, divorce, death, migration, wars, political disorders, economic shifts, geological mobility, partnering and remarriage. The sense of family, relationship, promptness, responsibility enroot in my childhood by my parents and it helps me in various ways to succeed in my life.
I am Achini DInethra Amarakoon and I belong to a Buddhist nuclear family in Sri Lanka.I have a younger brother who attached with love and affection since form my childhood. In the past, it was a natural thing that people get married in their very young age and then starts a family but nowadays One of the main reasons for smaller family units are birth control as well as an increase in the level of education. For instance, women have pursued an education and entered the workforce they aim to marry later and delaying of childbirth is becomes very common. Today many people hot spot about their professional development because comparing to the past the social competition is increased and as a result children migrate at an early age to study or work by leaving their parents. A household is a“Groups of people who eat together, share accommodation and frequently income’(Davey,1998, P.4 as cited in Drewery and Claiborne (2010/2012).
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In the rural area, the man and woman simply started living together with the acceptance of their parents and they did not get a marriage certificate but this type of marriages still survive. Moreover, women are responsible for cooking, raising children and taking care of housework similarly, women are stronger in health and fertility behaviour. In contrast, men have the responsibility to protect woman and children and help them with material support. However, after the 1950s, some women attend in paid work professions like tea picking, nursing, teaching and also Sri Lanka was the first country to choose a female prime minister.
As a developing country and nation, I think it is a positive idea and also this has changed the structure of families and the role of family members. women become financially independent. My parents belong to an extended family and my father has six siblings and my mother has seven siblings in her family as Sri Lankans we have long names because it is a tradition to carries a family name in every family.
Reading because they live with extended families and they believe genetics relationship is the main part of their identity. My parents moved to the city due to economic and employment reasons because they get more work opportunities in the city more than in rural areas where they born. From my parent`s brothers and sisters I got many aunts and uncles plus their daughters and sons and we usually get together on many occasions and we enjoy a lot and share experiences with them.
According to Robinson `Good mother ‘who is hugely concentrating and sensitive towards for children`s needs and puts children needs first and who strong to balance her time and other roles as wife, homemaker and also a paid worker also who willing to manage all these responsibilities and roles sparkly she is a `superwoman ‘and I would say my mother is a `superwoman ‘because she is the biggest inspiration in my life and I never saw her ignoring her responsibilities towards our family.Being a spouse to a police officer she sacrifies a lot due to Sri Lankan 30 years civil war because my father Fathers are just like mothers to infants cries and needs (Ritchy and Ritchy,1997, as cited in Drewery and Claiborne (2010/2012)
I agree with this because my husband sensitive for my baby`s signals same as me and he pay more time and effort for baby when I engage with my studies.“ quality of men`s involvement with children is increasing’’(Smith (2013).In addition, Amato(1998)as cited in reading fathers are important for children`s education standards, self-confidence level of distress. My father is a police officer and he gave me his mentorship and affection with strictness and he has always taken wise decisions towards his official duties and as a father. Moreover, I learn many valuable things form him to be an independent woman as well as a good citizen today because he is truly an admirable person for his outstanding qualities.
The role of children in families also have changed over the past years and in Pryor `s children are more intelligent and knowledgeable more than their parents and families became individual and. In this case there were several differences in both men and women, and between parents and children in their relationships as well as the rules and regulations (Coontz,2000, as cited in Pryor 2010).ccording to this children are creative and clever in problem-solving matters towards the family issues and for instance, in Sri Lanka there are many children especially the eldest in the family has taken responsibilities in many ways. Whenever I sing a song or play an instrument my family was there to cheer me and inspire me.Young women in Aotera states that her family encourage and gave support for her to succeed in the performing arts field.
When I was reading this suddenly my mind goes to my teens when I was used to participating in a singing programme in Sri Lanka and how my family inspire and help me and guided me. Finally I came last five competes among 5000 competitors in that programme and it is an unforgettable moment in my life.I did not win the competiton but my family encourage me to ….and also it helps me to look towards the life in a positive way.Most of the parents in my country are trying to push children towards medicine and engineering subjects, I was really fortunate to have a parents who supported my passion for music pave me the route towards career in my desired stream. My father bought me a violin when I was 8 years old when he came to know about my interest in music and it is the first musical instrument I got in my life and finally I graduated in Bachelor of performing arts in music. Furthermore, my grandmother is a strong woman who and she gave me much advice to be a success in my life because she was a teacher in her early age and her hard work and dedication mean me a lot to choose my profession as a teacher. Even in such an old age, she still reads many books and teaches kids as a volunteer. they never enforced me for any decision in my life.
According to Drewery and Claiborne (2010/2012) reading in Aotearoa, families are constrained together by emotional bonds or ties and it describes falling in love with a partner and begin a new life with them as a family. Marriage is a key event in my life and I got married when I was 28 years old and my husband belongs to a Roman Catholic family while I belong to a Buddhist family and we had different activities according to our cultures and rituals and also we are powerful and stimulated by each other`s different practices and commitments.
I got many in-laws and I feel again I came to an extended family. it there is a memorable gift according to our tradition and it was a necklace I got from my mother and the speciality of this necklace is my mother got it from my grandmother. In Sri Lanka families passing down their jewellery from one generation to another at weddings as a part of dowry as well as a memorable gift. Moreover, After three years of marriage, we blessed with a baby boy and he is the most precious thing we have in our lives.
He changed our lives in many ways and like Polynesian family culture describes in Smith`s reading my baby also got `unrestrained warmth and love’from my family. (Metege,1995)and as cited in Drewery and Claiborne (2010/2012)family is an intergenerational relationship and a newborn baby can make positive demands on the way the entire family activities. According to Smith (2013), we cannot decide the best way of bringing up a child because it depends on the cultural and family diversity and also different approaches work better for each child. For instance, my parents used to appreciate my brother by providing beautiful gifts such as toys.`
On the other hand, for me parents used most common way as Smith says,“through verbal instruction and explanation’’.As describe in Pryor`s (2010)there are four parenting styles developed by Baumrind and colleagues(Baumrind 1971) and refined by Maccoby and MartinMaccoby and Martin1983) namely, authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful parenting. The authoritative style has become the best parenting style because it based on the characteristics such as support, monitoring, autonomy and it creates children with self-confidence, life satisfaction as well as the strong relationship with parents.
Further, this is the ecological theory which says that children are influenced by their family and social environment. In Smith`s reading there is a quotation describes by Meri Meri penfold how she works for her family as the eldest child in the family and similarly, I am the eldest child in my family and due to financial issues my both parents have to work full time and I took all the responsibilities towards my brother who is seven years younger than me. Moreover, I helped my mother in cooking, washing, tidying the house while I engage with my studies. Growing up in my family taught me social values such as respect and good manners, kindness, discipline, being honest and standing up for others as well as volunteer work.
Further, I would say that I am a good mother to my child and I balance my studies with family commitments because of the influence I got from my family in the past. According to ecological theory(Bronfenbrenner,1979,a as cited in Smith,2006) explains, family as an organization of people who dedicate to each other`s wellbeing and specially. Children’s wellbeing based on the environment they live in. I strongly agree with it because my first teachers are my parents and family till I enter a school. Moreover is describes the Families are like branches on a tree.
We grow in different directions but our roots a Globalization makes me and my family in New Zealand and this the most important decision I made because here we can get more work opportunities and I think I am lucky to give my son a worldwide education which I do not get in my childhood and I can see my son is getting such a wonderful experience and knowledge by exploring as in (Te Whariki Ministry of education,2007)and his future will be entirely different in New Zealand. As Mckenzie(2006),without Tamariki(children) family has no future therefore,as a family we must take care of them for our own well-being and future. As cited by Drewery and Claiborne (2010/2012)due to the improvement in technological equipment such as video on phones. Social network items through the computer and other modes of communication using digitalb are modified the ways people live and how they connect with their relationships. It is true because people are migrating to different countries for several reasons and they keep connections between their family through social networks and in my experience I missed my family a lot but I usually talk with them.
The family is the most precious thing to everyone. In Mckenzie (2006)reading the value of family has describes through harakeke(the flax bush) rito(child)is protecting,nuturing and bought up by parents and grandparents ( flax leaves). According to Mckenzie,(2006),a main concept of the Maori family is Whanaungatanga (a relationship through shared experiances and working together that provides people with a sense of belonging)and whanui have the responsibility to nurture and nourish the children according to their particular distinct. The increasing diversity of how individuals choose to do family life today is undeniable.You can choose your friends…but you cannot choose your parents.Family is my first introduction and interaction to the world.
