A child always dreams of having a family as perfect as the books they read describe them. A family that sticks together in the good and bad times, where their parents show love and respect towards each other. But all these changed one chilly and windy fall night an eight-year-old innocent girl realized those stories were an obnoxious lie.
My ideal childhood was always to have family that did adventurous things together, who was always seen as a friendly and loving family, where the parents respected each other. But that all changed when I was around the age of eight when my father to me turned into someone, I didn’t recognize a simple and average stranger. He would act different around my mom he would yell at her more and more each time she did a small mistake. He will always humiliate her make her feel less then him. At some point I thought the worst could happen to my mom like my dad getting to the point of hitting her.
My life before all this was a dream it was all sunshine and rainbows, I’ve never saw my dad raise his hand at my mom or his voice. This mindset of my perfect dad changed that dark and chilly evening of October 21st, 2006. My dad got home from work it was around six in the evening my mom was cooking. But when he came in, I knew it wasn’t him his face seemed different, it was dark red, eyes narrowed looking rigid and cold to me he looked like a demon. Even though I saw him this mad my fragile and innocent heart felt bad for him. I went up to him tried to hug him, but he just yelled back at me franticly which made me scared and I backed off. But what happened next made me infuriate with anger something that for eight years I hold on to.
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That evening of October 21st, 2006 was the night that my childhood and heart was shattered like the bits of glass knocking and smashing together. It was the night I saw that person I called my dad, who I courageously called my hero hit my mom for the first time ever. It was the worst and most shocking event if ever saw at the age of six. I heard the way my mom with a broken voice yelled to my dad to stop hitting her. I felt powerless, I couldn’t help my mom of how scared and nervous I was of that ugly demon inside my house hurting my mom. That day was the day that the person who raised along with my mom stopped being my dad, I lost all the love, respect, and admiration I had towards him in just two minutes. That day my dad was no longer my dad he was a stranger that I hated with all my heart someone that for eight years I never forgave.
After all these events happened my mom had the courage to move out of the house with me and my sister. We struggled financially since my dad didn’t give us anything as well as that as me and my mom didn’t want anything that had to do with him. My sister and I were surrounded with different people each time we moved which made us feel unsafe, but we had no choice since my dad didn’t want us back home. During this separation I suffered depression and felt like I didn’t belong in this world. But I pushed myself to try better each day for my little who was innocent and didn’t really know what was going on, as well as my pregnant mother. Who I always saw crying and broken down. But all this pain I went through made me into the person I am today.
When my parents separated in 2008 my sister and I were shattered cause we would have never thought the people we loved would turn up going their different paths. We were involved in many changes including the way we lived, we sometimes didn’t get to see one of our parents in a long time due to the court making the decision on what days we got to see my mom and what days we got to see our dad. But today in day I take this negative situation as a positive life lesson that happened to me. This situation made me mature at a young age and made me see that sometimes things happen for a reason. Yes, it affected negatively but I overcame that depression and I became a strong woman. I learned that sometimes life doesn’t go as we plan it. I as well learned that we don’t need to depend on someone in order to succeed in life. Lastly, every day I strive to be the best person I can by not giving up.
Eight years passed since my parents divorced and I still hadn’t forgiven my dad for everything he did to us. It took me eight years to forgive him, I was sixteen years old when I finally decided to talk to him and tell him that I forgave him. To me forgiving him was the hardest thing to do. The poem “Forgive And Forget” by Rick Adriolo is a poem that I deeply connect to since it explains the way I was feeling when I thought of forgiving him, “For I did not have the courage to forgive all as I lacked faith to take the leap therefore I chose to suffer in silence as if I were asleep”. Even though I really wanted to forgive my dad because everybody will tell me it was the right thing to do in order to fully cure my heart and remove the hate, I had towards him I didn’t have the guts. I will remember with such rage what he did, and I would forget about it.
It took time for to actually forgive my dad I truly from heart forgave him not to long ago on his birthday last year. I learned that forgiveness was a good thing to learn because It truly took a big weight off your body. On another note I’m very happy and grateful that I still get to see both my parents. Since they guide me into the right direction, in order to not make the same choices they did marrying at a young age and solving problems with violence. Today in day i truly believe that after any negative situation the sun will shine eventually once the lesson was learned. Even today I imagine how it well be if my parents were together, but things happen for a reason and there’s always a lesson we learn from it which help us shape us to the people we are today.
