There are many things that are done to prepare for an Indian wedding ceremony. Besides the basic planning piece common to most weddings which includes decisions like bridal party, venue, food, and guest list, there are also many rituals done prior to the ceremony itself. Some of these rituals differ by location and religious beliefs but there are several common to most Indian weddings. Traditionally, the beginning of the preparation starts with an engagement ceremony.
The engagement ceremony, known by many different names in different parts of India, typically takes place months before the wedding. During this ceremony, the families of the bride and groom come together plan the wedding and exchange gifts. The bride and groom exchange rings and are blessed by the elders of the family. In some cases, a priest known as a Pandit, may be brought in to decide what the most favorable date for the wedding is.
After the engagement ceremony, there is a ceremony specifically for the groom called the Tilak, known as the groom acceptance ceremony. Here, all the men of the families gather at the groom’s home, where the groom is anointed with a red paste by the father of the bride. This symbolizes that the brides family accepts him and bonds the families together. In the days before the wedding, the Haldi (often called the turmeric ceremony) takes place. At the couples’ homes, a turmeric paste is applied to the bride and groom by their families. Turmeric is supposed to brighten their faces, protect them from illness and easy pre-wedding jitters. In Hindu families, the family says a prayer, called a Puja, to lord Ganesh to prepare the couple for their marriage.
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Several days before the wedding, there is a party known as the Sanjeet, where the families sing and dance together. Right before the wedding ceremony, the Mehendi takes place. Mehendi is a ritual for the bride that her family plans at their home. The bride gets henna on her hands and feet in beautiful, elaborate designs while the family sings, dances, and celebrates. There is a superstition that the deeper the color of the henna, the better the marriage will be and the better the bride will get along with her mother in law, so brides often let this dry for hours to deepen the color. After this, she will stay inside until the start of the wedding the next day.
After these preparations are made, it is time for the main ceremony. Many Indian weddings are large, as there is pressure to invite many people as to not offend anyone and most guest feel obligated to attend out of respect. Many Indian weddings take place outdoors in natural light, but some also take place in ballrooms that allow for a sacred fire to burn. The bride will traditionally wear a red sari, as red is considered an auspicious color and a Solah Shringar, a sixteen piece set of bridal jewelry. The groom traditionally wears a Sherwani, a long sleeved dress like shirt that goes down past his knees. He has his own procession into the wedding, usually riding up on a horse or in a fancy car.
The groom walks a Mandap, a wedding altar with a sacred fire burning under it. Here at the Mandap, the bride’s family will meet him, feed him sweets, exchange gifts and then pray together by the fire. The rest of the wedding party comes down the aisle, followed by the bride who is escorted and sometimes carried by the oldest male family member. The father of the bride places her hands in her groom’s hands as a gesture of giving her away. Then, the couple will exchange flower garlands and a female relative of the groom will tie a knot between the bride’s sari and the groom’s scarf.
This is called the Hasta Melap and symbolizes a lifetime bond. After this, the couple will hold hands and take four steps around the fire, each symbolizing four stages in life: pursuit of religious and moral duty (Dharma), pursuit of prosperity (Artha), pursuit of earthy pleasures (Kama), and pursuit of spiritual salvation (Moksha). The couple then takes seven steps together alongside seven stones, as the Pandit reads seven verses which symbolize their first steps as husband and wife. Next comes the Aashirvaad, which is the blessing from guests. Most couples say namaste and bow, while others will have guests come up to the Mandap to touch their feet. The newlyweds then walk down the aisle and are showered in red flower petals.
After the ceremony, the party begins with the reception. At the reception, there is a variety of food-some couples go with traditional Indian food like samosas, breads and vegetable dishes, while others opt to go with more western food options. Drinks are served and the dancing begins. Wedding party members will sometimes do a Bollywood style dance for the bride and groom and sometimes the bride and groom themselves will preform dances as well. The Bhangra is a popular type of dance at receptions. Toasts are made by members of the wedding party and the bride and groom often request no gifts be brought to the wedding, although sometimes guests receive gifts from the bride and groom. Money is often given as a gift but the monetary number must end in one, to be lucky. The rest of the night is without ritual but with plenty of fun!
The ceremonies and rituals do differ due to region, religion and family status. India has over 500 languages and 6,000 dialects and an extremely diverse culture, which plays into the many variations in their wedding celebrations. In addition to language, there are many different religions within Indian culture which also influence ceremonies, traditions and practices. Though the details and rituals may change, all Indian wedding ceremonies have the same significance: celebrating the joining of two souls.
