According to psychologists, I am labeled “a syndrome”. An only child. It is said that only children are lonely, selfish, spoiled and impatient. Whilst some of these personality traits may be true, isn’t everyone the smallest bit selfish and impatient? Everyone feels lonely sometimes, it’s not just something that’s specific to only children. Everything that is said about single children are myths as even people with 7 brothers and sisters can be selfish. Everyone has certain personality traits although I do admit that sometimes they can come across worse when your the only child. I can be selfish as I have never had to share with other children and so I’m not used to it.
The absence of any siblings has given me a deeper craving for close relationships with my friends. They become my family. I am extremely cautious when it comes to choosing friends due to a bad experience in the past. I was bullied by a girl and I didn’t even realise until 3 years later when I had more of an understanding of what was happening. The bullying was sometimes very subtle but often blatant – direct derogatory comments, deliberate exclusion even accusing me of being a bully. I was left with my blood boiling and completely bewildered after those words which were uttered.
Coincidentally, she is an only child too. It made me more cautious with the people I socialise with. I constantly have my guard up and am slightly suspicious when meeting potential new friends. Happily, I am now in a place where I can recognise who my loyal friends are and how much I need them in my life. They take my mind off of the difficult and painful times that occur in life even if it’s just for a day or a five minute phone call. When my group are together there is never a dull moment and we support each other in everything we do. I have a close relationship with my best friend as we spend lots of time together and we have lots in common. I guess you could say that she is the closest thing I have to a sister, the only difference being is that we never fight or argue and we don’t have to compete for attention.
127 our experts are availableright now
Most of my friends have siblings and so sometimes I feel different as I can’t relate. They speak about them regularly and I just listen. I understand that some people have strained relationships with their siblings but all of my friends are really close with theirs. When they are bored at home they can just go to the room next door to speak to them and they always have something to do. It does make me wish I had a brother or sister when they speak about the good times they have together. However, when they tell me about issues such as them not taking to their siblings friends or partners I don’t envy them one bit. I would rather just keep myself to myself and not have to worry about my brothers girlfriend not being my favourite person in the world and bumping into them awkwardly in the house.
When I inform people that I am an only child the conversation usually begins with “you are so lucky!” or “I wish I didn’t have any siblings!”. As much as I am lucky in certain aspects such as the fact that I have my own bedroom and I receive more attention from my parents there are negative aspects too. When we travel and go on holiday I feel like I trail along with my parents. I don’t have that brother or sister to give me the boost of confidence to meet new friends in a holiday setting or at home for that matter.
I am concerned about life later on. When my Gran passed away my whole family came together. My Gran had 6 sisters and the remaining of the 6 helped each other get through the difficult time. My Mum also had her Brother and Sister to lean on and my Dad had his but I can’t help but ask myself if I will actually have anyone as a shoulder to cry on? I will have to grieve alone and it scares me. The main question that goes through my mind is “What if I end up completely alone?” I’m worried. I am going to have to go through it by myself and I just hope that I have a husband and children so that doesn’t happen. It does also make me feel almost obliged to have children as I don’t know who will look after me when I’m old. If I don’t have children then my parents will not have grandchildren and I would feel as if it would be my fault. Next comes the question being if I had a child would I give them siblings? So many questions spinning through my mind but I’m young so I guess it’s not really important at this point in time.
Mistakes. Everyone makes them. I had and still don’t have anyone to blame for any mistakes I have made or any accidents I have caused. If I broke something I couldn’t just dismiss it and pretend it wasn’t me. I had to own up to my own mistakes. I suppose this could be a good thing for later on in life as a learning curve but it is definitely not the best at the time. I had to focus on not getting into too much trouble when I was younger as all attention would be on me. I had no bad examples from siblings to show me what not to do in life and no one to ask for advice on school or relationships and friendships.
I think that having a sibling is just one of those things where my mind constantly changes. One day I wish I had a sibling and the next I enjoy life as an only child. I should just consider myself lucky that my house is quiet and my parents give me and only me all of their love. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
