The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. “You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time” (Julia C., ND 2001, @Brainy Quotes). When we talk about arranged marriage, Arranged Marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by family members such as parents or other individuals such as matchmaker or people from marriage bureau other than couple themselves. And free-choice marriage is when bride and groom know each other already, couple select their partners according to them which is based on the romance and bonding they share with each other. “No matter the marriage type both genders tend to look for physical attractiveness, emotional security, and equal or higher earnings than their own” (Charmaine Y., 4th Nov 2014, @Prezi Inc.).
There is a belief in people that free-choice marriage works better than the arranged marriage. But every marriage depends on two individuals. People think that free-choice marriage has more freedom because both the individual knows their priorities already because they leave together before marriage to know each other in a better way and to check if the relationship will succeed or not and then they eventually get married to each other. While in arranged marriage, couple try to know and understand each other after marriage by staying together, understanding priorities and support each other with mutual bonding. “Free-choice marriages based on love or romance, offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages where the man and woman are chosen by the parents and so there is pressure and is not so suitable and independent” (Faizan Sadiq, Nov 21st, 2008). The decision about marriage always depends upon the individuals whether they want to be part of arrange or free-choice marriage.
Marriage is not only for two individuals but it’s a relationship where family, friends, and relatives of both the individuals also get involves. Family really matters for a successful marriage. In free-choice marriage individual must convince each other family after deciding to get married, sometimes it becomes really hard to convince parents for the partner they have already selected. Each culture and religion’s beliefs, priorities and mentality differ as there are still a lot of conservative and strict families exist all over the world about their culture and religion in which they even want their children to follow the same. Eventually, parents always accept choices of their son/daughter. While in arranged marriage its completely different scenario parents tend to find the good or perfect match in same culture or religion so that it’s easy for a couple to get comfortable with each other’s family’s rituals and tradition.
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In arranged marriage social status really matters where rich people look for their compatible partner when they match each other’s choice, liking and dislikes. Even when there is get together or some family functions partner can easily maintain each other’s standards. Apparently, a free-choice marriage is based on romance or friendship. Both the individual admires each other as they know really well from before. So, social status is the least concern in free-choice marriages as they are in love so, both the partners just want to stay and live life together, they cannot stay away from each other for long period of time. But when we think for long terms free-choice marriages face social status issues after couple of years of marriage when family get involves. So, both have their consciences regarding their social status.
When we talk about happy, successful and best marriages there is a lot of dedication and compromises from the ends to have that successful and happy life together, it really doesn’t matter whether it’s free-choice or arranged marriage. In free-choice marriage compromise is mainly for family members, while arranged marriage couples are completely comfortable with each other’s family members. Typically, in a free choice marriage, an individual might bargain for a lacking aspect in a spouse, if they make up for it in another aspect. For example, “a high earning woman might bargain for a nurturing, housework-sharing husband, even if his earning potential appears to be lower than hers” (Lamanna, M., & Riedmann, A. (2012). Raising Children in a Diverse Society. In Marriages, families, and relationships: Making choices in a diverse society (11th Ed.). Belmont, CA))
In marriages there is LGBTQ (Lesbians, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender and Queer or Questioning) being legalized all over the world. While talking about pride acceptance of them and their marriage is hard for normal people to accept in community. Now day’s people are being broad- minded, so family and friends start to believe and support in LGBTQ marriages and their community. There are still few countries to legalize this but mostly a lot of countries started giving them equal rights in the community. Recently, India passes the law of section 377 of Inter-cast marriages (Bennett, ND 2019, @The Times of India).
In a nutshell whether it’s arranged or free choice marriage it mostly depends on the family and individual mentality, both have their pros and cons but how a person takes it and handle their marriage matters the most. Or both marriages can ship and sink. Though the ratio of divorce is higher in free choice marriage as they get attracted by looks and lifestyle first but later it’s hard for the couple to adjust their likes – dislikes, perspective, social life. Hence, the divorce rate is higher. But if they are aware of the environment in which their partner is surrounded and still willing to get married to that person, then it gets less complicated after marriage and the chances of divorce reduce. The same as free choice there are chances that in arrange marriage one couple is not so familiar to the environment of their partner and as they don’t know them from a longer period, it gets difficult for them to cope – up with this environment. So both marriages have their own advantages and disadvantages.
References
- Sadiq, F. (Nov 21st, 2008). Arrange Marriage Vs. Free Choice Marriage Retrieved From –
- https://www.bartleby.com/essay/Arranged-Marriage-vs-Free-choice-Marriage-Faizan-F3XD5NLK6YYS
- Brandon, J. (2016 – 2019). Arrange Marriage Vs. Free Choice Marriage Essay Retrieved From –
- https://freebooksummary.com/arranged-marriage-vs-free-choice-marriage-essay-essay
- Yonzon, C. (Nov 04, 2014). Arrange Marriage Vs. Free choice marriage Retrieved From –
- https://prezi.com/pargzumor5_w/arranged-marriage-vs-free-choice-marriage/
