Wait, is a portrayal of my life. I am a procrastinator, and I believe I have a serious procrastinating problem I cannot remember when I start this kind of problem, nor do I know why I have the problem I can only guess, maybe it is just my nature, or maybe it is because the way I have been educated in China. The ways of education in China is high pressure and enforce policies, which means I don’t have to do the study plan and workerest schedule by my own, I just need to follow their plans Just like in a military school, teachers push students to study and train students to obey rules. All Students have the same schedule, which include eating, sleeping, and doing homework. We don’t have our own time, and we don’t know how to use our own time, because the only thing we need to do is follow school’s schedule and study.
After I come to America, I found the education system here is totally different than in China. Students in America have less pressure and they have more time to do their own thing They are free and able to decide by themselves, At the beginning I was very enjoyed this kind of freedom I enjoyed the freedom and flexibility of selecting the class schedule, so I can have more time for my own. I also enjoyed the freedom of the interpersonal relationship between teachers and students. There is no more push, no more scold from teachers and parents. However, when the initial interest fades, I found that I need to do everything by myself, No one will plan for me anymore. So I lost, and massed my life, I start to know that I’ve become a procrastinator.
When I received a task I will avoid to finish it, if the task is not urgent. Normally, I will start doing the task when I feel there is enough pressure on it, Otherwise, I will do other things instead of doing the task. I procrastinate things, not only tasks, but also everything in my daily life, everything you can imagine. As time goes by, I start to know that procrastination is not good, It undermines my well-being and my health, It always makes me lack of sleep, which makes me muzzy during the day and harms my health. I always hope that l have 7-8 hours of sleep, but every time when I think it‘s Lime for me to go to bed, I am still working on with my homework, because tomorrow is the due day.
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When I was thinking about my homework, I will look at my clock and think it’s still early. I still have time to do other things. Then I start watch a movie or read a book the clock is ticking, when I looked at my clock again it‘s already late, I have to finish my tasks; otherwise, I will lack of sleep and tomorrow will have a tired day. Then I opened my book and note, start to do my homework. Two minutes passed, I saw my iPhone was lying on my desk, and then my brain starts telling me, how aboutjust play 10 minutes iPhone. My hand reaching to the iPhone, my brain telling me I should not do that, or I will be regret. Yet, I hold my lPhone and turned on it, and start my so-called 10 minutes iPhone playtime Facebook, lnstagram, news, small games, even weather app, 1 playing it in my chair, on my bed, and change a lot of positions to make me feel comfortable.
After I played most of my apps, it’s already 1 hour passed, I need use my sleep time to finish my homework Day after day, year after year. Because of my irregular sleeping patterns, my body starts send me signals, it cannot take my bad behavior anymore. I felt my heart was beating unusual. Sometimes it beats too hard, and sometimes it skips a beat. I noticed that I might have heart palpitations in my chest. Not only my heart feels not good, but also my stomach gets upset too. My stomach feels hard and bloated often, sometimes it hurts after I eat or in the midnight. In addition, my skin looks horrible, it looks yellow and old, and gets many pimples on it. One day, I was standing in front of the mirror. I saw an ugly and weak girl was looking at me. She looks like an old lady, unhealthy, no energy, and unhappy, but I know she is still young.
She should dress nice, full of energy, and looks radiant, just like other 20 years old girls. I was telling myself I don’t want to look like this anymore. I want to overcome procrastinating and change my life, I start make plans for my daily life I made a schedule, a very detailed one. What time to get up, what time to go to sleep, what time to eat, and what time to do my homework, But things never go as planned. I just ignored my plans and never followed the schedule sheet. My brain keep telling me I have to follow the plan, I have to overcome my procrastination However, my procrastination overcame my plans, because no one is pushing me. I need someone’s help, but this is America, my professors are not Chinese, and my parents are not here. So, I still need to overcome it by my own I think maybe my schedule sheet is not eye- catching.
Then I redesigned and highlighted it, I printed many copies and pasted on the wall, in the books, furthermore, I set the schedule sheet as my wallpaper for both of my laptop and iPhone, so I when I turn them on I can see it. Moreover, I set alarms to remind me check the schedule and follow it all of my friends think I was crazy, but no one knows how much I am struggling. Sometimes I still ignore it, but sometimes I really followed it. I believe it is a good sign of overcoming the procrastinating problem I remembered I there is a picture called “which step have you reached?” There are 8 steps, they are “I won’t do it”, “I can’t do it”, “I want to do it”, “how do I do it”, “I’ll try to do it”, “I can do it”, “I will do it”, and “yes, I did it”, Now, I put myself in it, I think I am between the last two steps, I call it I am doing it I will not give up, although I still didn’t totally overcome it.
