Let’s be honest: there’s been a fierce debate over Western and Eastern parenting for more than a decade. Through new cultures and entitled blog posts, these styles of parenting have always clashed. While Western parenting revolves around self-confidence and leniency, Eastern parenting puts forth discipline and academic success. Although both Western and Eastern parenting produce relatively nice outcomes, the most reliable method comprises a mix of both styles to focus on these three elements: Western parental support of children’s dreams and aspiration, Eastern involvement in their child’s life and Western parent´s trust in a child’s actions and decisions. One element that should be taken from Western parenting is parental support of a child’s dreams and aspirations, this is important because while you want your child to be prosperous, it’s important that children are happy while succeeding in their chosen field.
For example, in No school, no rules: would you sign up to the latest parenting trend? A parent adds some insight: ´¨My two year old loves the world map we put in her bedroom … it isn’t forced, its fun. They ask questions and we go from there¨ (Graham 3). Here there are no forceful or suggestive nature pushed onto the child, and the child responds by continuing their passion and learning without feeling pressured. In addition, the reason why to respect your child’s wishes comes from Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, “Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off … “Get back to the piano now,” I ordered … Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay … she punched, thrashed and kicked” (Chua 3). To clarify, Chua describes a story where she forces her daughter, Lulu, to learn a song on the piano. Lulu shows great dislike towards the action, and even fights back. Moreover; because of this, Lulu becomes more miserable and grows hate towards what she’s doing [piano]. If Amy Chua just respected Lulu’s requests, Lulu could’ve just started again tomorrow with a fresh mindset.
Another equally important trait is Eastern involvement in a child’s life, because it should be a must for parents to be close with their children, or at least make it known that as parents, they care. On the other side of the spectrum, there’s the song Cats In the Cradle. This song demonstrates the consequences of neglect in a couple of lines: “ I called him up just the other day, I said, I’d like to see you if you don’t mind, He said, I’d love to, dad, if I could find the time … But it’s sure nice talking to you, dad … And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me, He’d grown up just like me, My boy was just like me” (Chapin). In these lines, the narrator [dad] realizes that his son is doing the same actions he used to do, neglecting their loved ones and creating empty promises. Here we see the consequences of a parent’s actions on a child’s future personality and actions, negative ones too. The child dismisses their father’s wishes and doesn’t value their relationship enough to make time for his dad. If the father made an effort to befriend and care for their child, this wouldn’t happen.
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This is shown in a commercial based on the song, where the father takes action by cancelling his work shift and decides to spend time with his son; instead of being ignorant of the situation, the dad puts effort in his child’s relationship (TDAmeritrade). Because of this, the son returns the favor and thanks his father and a montage of beloved moments between the two appears, showing their strong bond. Lastly, another important part of great parenting is learning to trust your child’s opinions and actions. For example, Kate Graham documents a parent partaking in unschooling saying: ‘“It was torture, Kim admits with a laugh … he went through a jar [Nutella] a day. I had to take deep breaths, trusting him and myself” (No school no rules 1). While this parent´s child´s actions are questionable, a good result comes out of this: ¨Kai [child] subsisted purely on tortillas and Nutella for two months before finally getting bored”´ (No school no rules 1).
After tiring out his craving of Nutella and tortillas, the kid stops. SInce this child exhausts his freedom to eat anything, he learns in the long run that this isn’t the best idea, and learns it himself. While this is an extreme amount of freedom for a kid the kid ultimately learns his lesson without help, and with the parent’s trust they wouldn’t have to step in. Because of this amount of trust the child won’t grow up dependent on others, on their parents. An opposite attempt at a situation like this is how Amy Chua treats her daughter Lulu, ¨I hauled Lulu’s dollhouse to the car and told her I’d donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn’t have ‘The Little White Donkey’ perfect by the next day¨ (3). Even though Amy Chua means no harm, she actively decides against Lulu and forces her to do what she wants.
Whether you´ve grown up with Western or Eastern parenting, or prefer one of the two, we can agree that they have cons we’d rather avoid. Children are hugely influenced by their surroundings and upbringing, and it really helps when they’re treated with the best care: a mix of both methods. Even though these two parenting styles can churn out good people, it’s so much better when you combine the pros of both instead of risking the cons.
