After reading Beauvoir’s reading on “The Second Sex” I want to argue the connection of men courting and the societal fact that women are inferior to men. In addition, I want to argue the connect of men looking for certain features in a woman that she has to either be the pleasing women or the together women. Why do we search for certain features/Stereotypes? In addition to the stereotypes/roles set for women I want to connect this to the video in how we search for love on apps like “Tinder” to filter out certain features in reality to just finding a bit of ourselves within another person. Using the concepts within Beauvoir’s reading on “The Second Sex” I want to argue some of the ideas/concepts within the “Wisecrack, “Is Tinder Killing Love?” video as well as Philips article, “What’s a Young Woman (Not) to Think”.
In the Beauvoir’s reading on “The Second Sex” there is a sense of exocentalism within the reading which is essentially the idea that humans are not born with any purpose ever. Beauvoir uses this idea to hone in on women essentially he says that women aren’t as capable to create their own ideas as men are. But most women have a sense of radical freefrom which is the fact or how you live your life especially feminists. Now these are some of the ideas I’ve gathered and analyzed from Beauvoir’s reading on “The Second Sex” reading. Beauvoir also brings up the concept of immanence vs. Transcendence which insinuates that women only has men and strips away the accomplishments that the woman has thus the man has all the accomplishments as well as achievements. Men has been denying women the transcendence role for a while and Beauvoir makes that clear within the reading. “The reason for this is that women lack concrete means for organizing themselves into a unit which can stand face to face with the correlative themselves into a unit which can stand face to face with the correlative unit. They have no past,no history, no religion of their own; and they have no such solidarity of work and interests as that of the proletariat” (Beauvoir, 18). Thus brings me to the concept of how as humans we are born equally but somehow with our upbringing as well as society that men are more valued than women and women are expected to cater to men. Now when men are looking for certain qualities in a mate they tend to look for motherly qualities (Example: someone that can cook).
Another thing they tend to look for is bodily as well as physical features. With dating apps like tinder this is a way to pre select particular features within a potential mate. In the “Wisecrack, “Is Tinder Killing Love?” video french theorist Alain Badiou also the author of the book “In Praise of Love” says that pre-conditioned love filters out to one’s liking/similarity or unwanted traits. Science approach to love is a “no chance/ rejection” or as he calls it a “risk free love”. He says “Issues with online dating represents a risk free love a love that is remote from any sort of rejection” (Wisecrack, 2:22). Within the video the idea of how we tend to be obsessive about the body is another topic discussed and this is honest. In this day and age apps like Tinder, Instagram, Snapchat, and even Facebook it’s based off looks the physical appearance. “Sliding in the DMs” where most typically one will view ones social media pictures based off their appearance and decide if they want to send a direct message to that individual to express a romantic interest. Off that interaction it can either progress or they face rejection. As said in the “Wisecrack, “Is Tinder Killing Love?” video Richard Kearney a philosophy professor believes in the “Age of Excarnation which is where digital media creates an atmosphere of where we tend to be obsessive about the body in increasingly disembodied ways” (Wisecrack, 0:52).
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Another concept brought up in the Beauvoir’s reading on “The Second Sex” is the idea of production vs. reproduction. These two concepts are not mutual or exclusive due to her productivity of being able to contribute to the economy. But due to her reproduction a woman is seen only to be able to conceive, carry, and deliver. A woman should not exclusively be seen as just a womb or just a worker. A woman’s reproductive should not cease her from working or having a position within society. Yet man, society, and even in history has ceased a woman to the boundary of her reproduction. A woman’s contribution to society is blocked off by her womb. Thus this makes the woman not viewed as a man’s equal within society. Social bias like abortion and unwedded mothers has to more accepted to help the woman become a equal in the workplace as well as to a man. Most often men has a higher pay than women why is that its due to the fact that society doesn’t see men and women as equals.
Men are apparently superior to women as woman are inferior to men. “In the economic sphere men and women can almost be said to make up two castes; other things being equal, the former hold the better jobs, get higher wages, and have more opportunity for success than their new competitors (Beauvoir, 20). In addition “In industry and politics men have a great many more positions and they monopolize the most important posts” (Beauvoir, 20). Another point within Beauvoir’s reading that support this “Woman was ordered back into the home the more harshly as her emancipation became a real menace” (Beauvoir, 22). Not only as women we face a social injustice but we are not only told that our opinion as women are invalid in society. But we are discredited as women and personally being a black women. I cannot be both to society these is an unspoken social bias that the two don’t go hand in hand. I can either be black or a women but I cannot be a black women. In Beauvoir’s article Beauvoir voices that using the example of Haiti, the Indo-Chinese, and Russia. All these areas have fought a revolution to gain their freedom.
Being a Haitian women we learning about the revolution is often credited to men and men have the poster face of winning the revolution. Haitian women efforts are belittled. Growing up Haitian women are to aspire to catering to men and their needs. This also goes for the Indo-Chinese and Russia. In Beauvoir’s article “…men say ‘women’, and women use the same word in referring to themselves. They do not authentically assume a subjective attitude. The proletarians have accomplished the revolution in Russia, the Negroes in Haiti, the Indo-Chinese are battling for it in Indo-China; but the women’s effort has never been anything more than a symbolic agitation They have gained only what men have been willing to grant; they have taken nothing, they have only received” (Beauvoir, 18).
Growing up as a girl society teach us as young girls to make ourselves smaller. Were told that we can shoot to be successful but not too successful or we’ll be a threat to the “man”. We’re told we can dream or have ambition but you can’t dream too much or have too much ambition. Just because we are women we are expected to be desirous to the idea of marriage. As woman we are expected to make life choices but to keep in mind that marriage is the most important life choice. Yes, marriage can be joyus, loving, and at times give mutual support but why is it that we don’t install these same concepts to boys but strictly girls. It’s installed in young girls not to be sexual beings in the similar way boys are. Girls at times are raised to view each other as competition and for what to gain the attention of a man. Now these are just some of my thoughts that curated through my mind as I was reading and reviewing Beauvoir’s article as well as Philips, “What’s a Young Woman (Not) to Think”. “…understanding of the social construction of subjectivity, it quickly became clear that I could not do justice to women’s fluid and multifaceted subjective experiences without first backing up to examine the culture messages that, early on, began to contextualize their current perception” (Philips, 34).
Now this concept leads us to the idea of pleasing vs. together woman discourse. The pleasing woman discourse is “..the more traditional discourse regarding good womanhood… holds that integral to women’s proper gender roles is the desire and ability to be pleasant, feminine, and subordinate to men” (Philips, 39). Now to be pleasing is to have sexual “purity” in addition to have submissive housewife tendencies. A pleasing woman should be discrete about her sexuality. She holds elements of a “good woman” and a virgin/whore dichotomy. Now the together woman discourse “Competing with the pleasing woman discourse, the more contemporary, but still problematic “together woman discourse” promotes the notion that a “together” woman is free, sexually sophisticated, and entitled to accept nothing less than full equality and satisfaction in her sexual encounters and romantic relationships” (Philips, 47). In addition she has a sense of power and freedom over men. She is one who is sassy, have sexual freedom, never “cheap” or ‘needy”, classy, career woman, and believes that women must be sexual agents. Essentially examples of together/pleasing woman dichotomy are shows like Being Mary Jane, Baby Boom, Scandal, How to Get Away With Murder, and ect.
In conclusion, it is installed into us women as little girls to cater and aspire to the needs of men. The concept of production vs. reproduction a woman’s contribution to society is blocked off by her womb. Thus this makes the woman not viewed as a man’s equal within society. Thus brings me to the concept of how as humans we are born equally but somehow with our upbringing as well as society that men are more valued than women and women are expected to cater to men. Now when men are looking for certain qualities in a mate they tend to look for motherly qualities as well as sexual qualities. The concept of immanence vs. Transcendence which insinuates that women only has men and strips away the accomplishments that the woman has thus the man has all the accomplishments as well as achievements. Not only as women we face a social injustice but we are not only told that our opinion as women are invalid in society. But we are discredited as women and personally being a black women. I cannot be both to society these is an unspoken social bias that the two don’t go hand in hand. I can either be black or a women but I cannot be a black women.
Thus brings stereotypes to be good/bad onto us women like the concept leads us to the idea of pleasing vs. together woman discourse. In reflection, we have come along way for gender equality but due to the various unspoken biases we as women face discrimination as well as belittlement to the agenda of men. We are told to aspire to the man and his needs. With dating men can look for some of these qualities as well as characteristics mentioned within the article unknowingly because it has been entrained in the as well as women from their upbringing. Thus this has a big play into dating and the courtship/ selection process. Now the next time a man approaches a women keep in mind the various influences that goes into pare with him courting as well as dating.
