Table of Contents
- Goal 1- Practice Subtle detachment
- Goal 2 – Prepare for next career move
Take a step back to understand me and life
- Quality work life
- Don’t skip yoga and meditation
- More productive with time
- Remove the fear that time is not enough!
- Overcome fears, anxieties, thoughts and prejudices
- Practice and learn to say NO
- Speak for myself – have self-empathy
- Prepare for my next career
Practice Subtle Detachment
The detachment was about being aware that I am responsible for my feelings and doings because we cannot be in control of other people’s actions. The most liberating part of it was to live my life and let others live their life with just listening and nodding , refraining from giving advices and opinions!
Did I achieve what I had narrated above?
Detachment was not about passivity and total withdrawal from life but it was more of a soul searching remaining fully involved in my work and life. The return to self was important to shape myself to have more self-control and discipline in life , to be more productive with time, remove the fear of being vulnerable to emotions and being ok with whatever happens!
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Was the experience and practice truly as narrated above?
Being a verb not a noun for making life simple!
Connecting to the core of me is a way of addressing my fears , anxieties and worries at the same time celebrating my success and happiness. That was not easy for me, I succeeded at times and I failed miserably at times. Afterall, I am a pack of neurons that experience both!
Work life: I started enjoying the work journey.
Reflection :I had always set clear goals and worked hard to achieve them and wanted to get better in whatever I do. I become much more focused on the outcome which I desired and at times when it does not happen I get upset affecting my work life . What I did differently : I started working consistently and persistently without being carried away by the outcomes.
This way of working is very new to me and not so easy .I have to constantly remind myself of what I learned in the Gita classes during my childhood , The words are ‘We have the right to do our duty, but the results are not dependent only upon our efforts. A number of factors come into play in determining the results’
My mother’s illness and impact on me
The most swing of emotions in 2019 was my mother’s illness . She had a hysterectomy in February 2019 followed by diagnosis of Stage 4 Colo-rectal Cancer in May 2019 . The news was communicated to me by my dad just before my MA exam. I was shaken for a few days and affected my daily life a lot. She is undergoing her chemo and is taken care in a palliative center. I am happy I could stand by her during her bad phase emotionally and financially .The best part is the strong emotional support I got from my husband and best friends.
It is still a subtle trap of emotions!
Learning to say No and speaking up for myself
The South Africa study tour was a bitter experience for me as a part of team B4. Fatma had her husband all through out the tour with her in the hotel .He was always with our team in team meetings ,breakfast table and dinner outings. I said a No. this should not happen , team meetings he cannot hijack the discussions we have. The team supported me in personal discussion but openly did not speak that this is not right, instead asked me to adjust for team work sake . Fatma accused me of hurting her culture of her husband being with her. Her audacity at the cost of my silence was too high trying to discredit me to nullify her wrong . This time I decided to speak up and make a formal complaint to EMBA office.
This is still the most challenging part of my whole journey is to speak up because I think people are mean for their gains and relationship – Appeasement or diplomacy!
Meditation and Yoga
Yoga and traditional sublime chanting meditation disciplines require a bit of detachment from self . I have been practicing it for long time but was erratic at times skipping it for days. It is still happening. I learned that I should not force me into doing it . The awareness and need to do it should come naturally. I released me from the guilt of not doing it . Now , I am doing it regularly for the past one month . Hope it continues without a pause!
Next Goal Career Move
Other than finishing my EMBA , I have not thought about this goal for now.
