Did you have a Mean Parent, or did you think your parents were too strict? I’m sure they thought they were doing the right thing by raising you that way. Many parents actually believe that raising a child with strict discipline is favorable in the long run. However, research shows that the product of strict parenting is often a child that has lower self esteem and behavioral problems (Markham, Laura). These problems are manifested in anger, anxiety, depression, rebellion, lying, distrust and many other forms throughout the child’s life (Markham, Laura). Personal experiences, research, and statistics show that strict parenting is not always constructive to children’s personal growth and positive lifelong outcomes.
There are four main styles of parenting: Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Uninvolved & Neglectful. For the purpose of this essay, only the Authoritarian approach will be reviewed. The Authoritarian parenting style is too harsh a method, which is what we call the strict parents (Khan, Iftikhar). Having strict parents makes living life to its full potential increasingly difficult for all involved. The need to do everything perfect, make no mistakes, and please your parents 100% of the time, are the ingredients for making extremely self-conscious kids who have a lack of self-management skills that can be prolonged into adulthood (Sousa, Rebecca).
Even the simplest action of telling the truth to more strict parents becomes a stressful act, for young-aged groups of children. Something may seem fine to do in their minds, although it’s something the parents would consider very wrong. The lies they feel are inconsequential, change the direction, the parents are intending for their child, possibly forever. Instead of the parent’s good hopes, lying becomes easier and an unwanted pattern that turns into a way of life. It’s an easy habit to become excellent liars.
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Strict parents care so much about what they want for their children that they don’t always take into consideration what the child actually wants for themselves. Besides turning into possible liars, living with strict parents may also turn a child into a very subconscious person with poor self-esteem. The child grows up with demands from strict parents and feels that they can never live up to the expectations they have for them. When a child is constantly having their stance on a matter ignored it creates a sense that their opinions and beliefs have no importance or relevance allowing them no individuality (Manola, Sharanya).
This can also damage the relationship between the parent and child, causing the child to feel like they can’t tell their parent about what is going on in their life, which can be damaging for other relationships to come in the future and also making them feel like leaving may be a better option (Hughes, Emily).
On the positive side, in having strict parents, there are a few skills that can be acquired, and there is a difference between being in control of a child and controlling the child (Grolnick, Wendy). Children will be taught and will learn manners since the parents demand it from the children. Learning empathy can come from being around friends. Self-control is learned by having to watch what they say around their parents to keep them from having consequences.
Children will be better prepared for what life throws their way after all the mandatory obligations the parents have set for them to fulfill. A stronger academic competence when reared by strict parents is another plus. A major societal problem, alcohol consumption in young adults, will be lessened by strict parents not letting their kids out with friends on the weekends, and keeping them from the peer pressure of drinking at too early an age.
Strict parents may think they are doing the right thing, but it actually hurts their children in several ways that can continue into adulthood and in future relationships. “Over the past four decades, a considerable body of research has accumulated on the relation between psychological well-being in childhood and adolescence and two fundamental aspects of parenting: control and acceptance. This literature has consistently shown that parental acceptance, inductive discipline, nonpunitive punishment practices, and consistency in childrearing are each associated with positive developmental outcomes in children.” (Gray, Marjory Roberts, and Laurence Steinberg)
Overall, the Authoritarian method of strict parenting isn’t considered an ideal style for most young children, especially as they head into their pre-teen and teen years. While these are very impressionable and formidable years, overly restrictive parenting, as in this method, is often more harmful for the child and leads to long lasting psychological and emotional upheaval in their lives and their own parenting. Is strict parenting beneficial for parenting? Yes and No. The optimal parenting style is a balanced method.
