There is a lot of studies related to the study of language and gender. With the research related to gender is on the fact of how men and women communicate differently. So many different kinds of researches and surveys have been conducted on the different ways of how men and women communicate and their style of speaking as well as the way they interpret different information. Men and women both have different ways of interpreting the way things are said and if it is taken the wrong way or get over exaggerated and become a issue that wasn’t supposed to start. For example, O’Barr and Atkins (1980) note many different features that women tend to use when speaking (p. 452-453). On the other hand, Maltz and Borker talk about women and men characteristics and the difference in each one. (pg.488). My paper will go into detail about how men and women communicate and how things are different depending on the gender.
A little background on the conversation I interpreted and used to write my paper is a group of four people. Two of the participants were males and two of there were females. The two men in the conversation were my father and my boyfriend, the females were my mother and my boyfriends’ mother. Sergio which is my boyfriend and Doug who is my father as well as Debbie who is my mother and Maria which is Sergio’s mother. The conversation that I recorded was over 30 minutes long, but I took the most important 30 minutes that I felt was important and would make this writing project come together well.
The majority of the conversation was spent talking about Sergio my boyfriend who is leaving for the Marines on the 26th of this month. The whole conversation was regarding what his job was and where he would be going as well as what was expected to happen within the next couple of months. They also spent time talking about his current bills here like car payment, insurance and his credit card payments. They were discussing with him and giving him advice on how he should set up his payments for direct payments and how he should secure his paychecks for the next few months while he is gone and unable to go to bank.
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Sergio: “What do you guys recommend I do for my bills I pay here monthly since I will not be here?”
Maria: “Well son if I were you, I would set them up as automatic payments, so they will be deducted from your account automatically. What would you advise for him to do Debbie?”
Debbie: “I would either do that or take money from your savings account out now and make multiple payments now and that way you are caught up for the next three months while you are in bootcamp. But that is totally up to you Sergio and what you are comfortable with.”
Maria: Interrupts and says, “I thought that do Debbie but I told him I was just a little worries of his digging into his savings for that much right now when he currently isn’t working since he leaves in a couple weeks.”
Doug: “Sergio what are you comfortable with and how do you want it to be I mean this is all about you and your money, so you need to say what you are comfortable with.”
With this conversation it involved basically everyone except Doug who sat there and listened without stating anything and after the girls were done going back and fourth just went straight to the point and said basically it doesn’t matter what they think or want its Sergio’s decision. This to me show the example as we have studied before regarding West and Zimmerman’s reading with how males with sit back and listen then will overlap and get straight to the point. That is what Doug had just done. He was respectful to let the girls talk and not interrupt but when they were finished, he said his piece short and sweet basically in a way saying they need to stop making it a big deal and let Sergio decide.
Opposite sex conversations seem to overlap with there opinions and details and seem to go different ways. As many of the reading we have discussed and did discussion boards on females seem to take things way to far and go on and on which cause of a problem. Females overthink and makes things a lot more difficult then they need to which is what causes issues with conversations with men and women involved.
The next part of the conversation gives the example of Sergio and his mom Maria overlapping one another and before one finishes the other one starts talking. This is what we read and discussed in West and Zimmerman’s (1983).
Sergio: “I like the fact of paying ahead of time (BUT)
Maria: “But, Sergio then you are going to be running low on funds (AND)” …….
Sergio: “And what Mom? At least the stuff will be paid and I can start building my account up again, I don’t want to have any issues and something not get paid then me become late on my projects.”
Here is an example of females interrupting and not allowing males to finish their part because females act as if they know it all and want to give their two sense. Overlapping in conversations happen all the time and sometimes it happens without people even realizing they are doing it and it causes a bigger problem because people start to get frustrated. As you are reading this conversation, I know you can’t here the tone in their voices and you can’t hear how their voices get louder and louder, but they were getting very upset with them cutting off each other and it was starting to get a little uncomfortable.
As in the reading and discussion we did with Suleiman and O’Connell reading (2008) regarding the interviews that Bill and Hillary Clinton showed different language depending on the gender. In this reading when it was discussing Lakoff’s findings on the power between men and women the conversation I recorded reminded me of this week’s discussion and readings. The reason for that is because Lakoff’s explanation of how females intensify everything. Then Doug in my conversation analysis just sitting back and basically letting the females talk to Sergio reminds me of Bill Clintons type of language gestures. Some people’s conversation styles are more laid back then others.
At the end of their conversation they resolved the angriness between Sergio and his Mother and they all just decided the best thing was just to let Sergio decide what he was comfortable doing because the bottom line is its his money and he is the one that has to decide what is the best. After I have been reading and doing all the discussions thus for in the semester so far, I feel like I have become a lot more familiarized and notice things a lot more in conversation then I ever had before. I notice more things such as women powerless of speech and how man over take conversations or how certain men just sit back and let the women take charge of the conversation which was what my conversation analysis shows. Men and Women both handle situations differently and take things differently you never know how the conversation might go from one way to another.
References
- Suleiman, Camelia, & O’Connell, Daniel C. (2008). Gender differences in the media interviews of Bill and Hillary Clinton. Journal of Psycholinguistic Research., 37(1), 33.
- West, C., & Zimmerman, D. (1983). Women’s place in everyday talk: Reflections on parent child interaction. In J. Coats & P. Pichler (Eds.), Language & gender: A reader (pp. 142-152). Chichester, West Sussex: Wiley-Blackwell.
- O’Barr, W.M., & Atkins, B.K. (1980). “Women’s language” or “powerless language”? In J. Coats & P. Pichler (Eds.), Language & gender: A reader (pp. 451-460). Chichester, West Sussex: Wiley-Blackwell
- Maltz, D.N., & Borker, R.A. (1982). A cultural approach to male-female miscommunication. In J. Coats & P. Pichler (Eds.), Language & gender: A reader (pp. 487-502). Chichester, West Sussex: Wiley-Blackwell.
