According to Dawn Lee of singlemotherguide.com “about 1 in 4 children are being raised without a father”. Single mothers have become very popular and uncommon. Being a single mother has no longer become a unique situation. Children bring joy to ones life, but there is no lie that raising one on your own may be one of the most demanding task one would have to fulfill. To some, being a statistical single mother is the most devastating situation to be in. How can a single mother flourish? How do single mothers manage the household? Being a single mother household, what type of psychological effects are brought on the mother and child? These are all important questions to ponder over.
There are many significant difficulties in being a single mother. Children require a great deal of attention and care but at the same time as a single mother you will need to manage the household and be financially solid on your own as well. Seeing that single mothers do have a lot on their plate, running it all is a onerous thing to do. It is not the end of the world and one is very capable of being able to raise a child on their own.
The definition of a single mother is a mother that cares for a child or children without an active partner in the household.As reported in the article Single-Parent Families “In 2002, 16.5 million or 23 percent of all children were living with their single mother”. Walking down the street you could have easily passed many individuals that were raised by a single mother. The situation of single mothers is not a new one and will continue to increase as years go by. Single mothers are becoming so popular because it seems that women are realizing that it is completely possible to raise a child on their own or are stepping up because they have no choice. There is more than one way to become a single mother. Divorce, Widowed, never married, and mothers single by choice are the most popular circumstances of being a single mom today.
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In any household there are going to be problems that pop up. For single mothers who still communicate with their child’s other parent, co-parenting is usually important but often difficult. To co-parent is to have both parents who may not be in the same home work together to raise their child or children. Problems that arise with co-parenting are lack of communication between parents and common conflicts such as having different schedules and ways of parenting will come up. To some raising children with both parents is essential so parents will have to work through issues for the children by letting go of prior issues and focusing on the child and the child only. As a single mother there are be many times a need to ask for help will come up.
Getting support from friends and family, and support group resources is the best thing a single mother can do. Friends and family are often more than willing to help out with things such as picking kids up, watching them, and even cooking dinner especially if they understand your circumstance and need for help. Their are also programs and support groups for single mothers. WIC is a program that provides assistance to pregnant mothers or mothers with children under 5 years old. Their are also food banks that “providing staples like pasta, rice, canned vegetables, and even toiletries” according to Jennifer Wolf of www.verywellfamily.com. Getting help from food banks and such will take some weight off of a mother who is struggling to provide for basic need for their family.
Resources like these will greatly uplift a needy mother. Making decisions for yourself can be a challenge. When having to make decisions about your children without a partner that is another everyday struggle single mothers have to face. Children often have a lot going on with extracurricular activities, health and their futures. Mothers on their own will have to pick and choose how they would like to run their child’s life. Every choice made will affect their child’s life in some small or significant way and that would easily stress anyone out especially single moms. With a little help and problem solving single mothers will be able to flourish and make the best out of their situation.
To manage a household is like directing a boat. You have to worry about what’s going on below, above, inside, and outside. Now try doing this on your own. The most important part of running a household is finances. As a single mother you will need to budget and pay bills. Financial necessities for a single parent family are already high. To effectively budget well you will need to save and gather all your funds in an organized way so you can keep track of spending. Paying bills may seem like the easy part but you need to know where to take this money out of. With a set budgeting system life will feel easy and organized even if the income you are receiving is small. It seems that there is never enough time in a day.
When there are children involved they are usually one of the major priorities. As a single mother you are more than likely working and your children in school. There are also some instances where your children have recreational activities, but where is a mother’s time to breathe or get a night out ? Single mothers can manage all these timely activities by “establishing sane work hours and [not trying] to multitask” according to the article 11 Quick Time-Management Tips for Crunched Working Moms. Being a single mother you are usually the most important money maker in the household. Getting practical working hours will allow you to make the money you need and continue to be active in your children’s lives. Trying to do multiple activities and engagements at a time is a big stressor on an individual.
Tackling one task at a time is the most effective way to get things done faster and productively. Creating a schedule is also a way to run a household successfully. Making a schedule for children is one of the popular parenting tips heard of. When a schedule is followed “structure” is built and “helps a child know what to expect” in your household according to the article Single Parent ? Tips for Raising a Child Alone. Structure can be used all through life and can set children up for success. Setting a set time for homework, dinner, and bed will give the child no room to add any unanticipated slip ups or problems. For a single mother following a schedule is also useful because it allows them to know what comes next and if they can add in anything extra or necessary.
If a mother is stepping up to the plate of raising a child alone then some sacrifices are going to be made. Finishing school is one of them. A lot of women like to go back to school to further their education which will help them in the long run to receive better job opportunities. According to Meredith Kolodoner of the Hechinger Report “28 percent of single mothers” graduate from college. School and children are both very demanding tasks. Most mothers do not make it through school because they do decide it is costly and their children are easily more important which then leaves them with limited job opportunities and keeps them at the lower status that they began with. Single mothers also give up the life they once had and their alone time.
When raising a child alone there is no “free time”. Anytime that is not spent making money or doing anything else productive is spent on the child themselves. Children require a lot of attention which includes affection, care, and even homework help. When there is no parent who else is going to be there to fulfill the children’s needs ? Those partying and going out days are over so if a single mother does get a night out she best savor it. In a situation where there is one only one parent a child’s needs are necessary but hard to meet. Single mothers often give up their own needs for their child. When money is tight and your child is hungry a mother often has to miss a meal in order for their child to eat. Single mothers also give up health care so they have enough funds to pay for their children’s health care.
