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My Mother, Molley, is a nurturer. She is often quiet but can be very protective of her children. She always put the needs of others above her own. In 2012, my family moved to Saudi Arabia. I had the choice of attending high school there or boarding school in the States. Despite all her maternal instincts, my Mom allowed me to attend school 7,500 miles away. She did this because she believed it was best for me, even when it broke her heart.
My Mom is kind and compassionate and accepting of all people. Being the president of the relief society in my home ward, she is always serving others. My Mother’s greatest weakness is also her greatest strength. Because she cares so deeply, she often allows others to take advantage of her generosity. In a lot of ways, I am similar to my Mom. I have always felt an overwhelming urge to do good and be good. I also have difficulty saying no. I have a very good relationship with my Mother. I tell her everything and go to her for advice concerning my emotional wellbeing.
My Father, Tim, is a protector. He is a calming force in my life. My Dad has worked his whole married life to provide for his family. I would describe him as determined, hardworking, and reliable. He is also very independent. He has always taught me to ignore what everyone else is saying and find the truth for myself. My Father’s greatest flaw is that he is very headstrong and stubborn. He has great difficulty admitting when he’s wrong. This has been a continual strain on my parent’s relationship. Unfortunately, I have inherited his stubborn streak. I have a very good relationship with my Father. Though, I do not stay in contact with him as well as I do with my Mother.
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Parents’ Relationship
I am not married and have only been in two serious relationships. I am taking this class because I want to be prepared for the future. I handle conflict by avoiding it. Rather than discussing the point of contention, I tend to avoid it altogether. This often makes the conflict worse. When I cannot avoid the confrontation, I become defensive. In the heat of the moment, I may deny any wrongdoings or refuse to recognize my role within the conflict. I am aware that my Father deals with conflict in much the same way. On the other hand, I express my love by spending time with and serving my loved ones. I also show my affection through physical touch. Similarly, my Mom expresses her love through service. My relationship with my family is very strong. My relationships with my former boyfriends; however, were not as strong.
Overall Childhood/Teen Years
Throughout childhood, my home environment was constantly shifting. I moved every two years or so until I was fifteen. My Father also traveled a lot for work. Despite this, my early life was almost always full of love and laughter. Our houses would change, but home was in our hearts. When I was nine, my parents separated for about a year. They were considering divorce. That year was very difficult for my siblings and me. In the end, my parents reconciled and are now happily married. Nevertheless, that experience left a scar on my heart. When I was fifteen, I left home for boarding school. Attending an esteemed college prep school afforded me many advantages and opportunities.
Yet, leaving my family so early was the hardest thing I have ever done. My early childhood and teen experiences have most definitely had an effect on my past relationships and will have and effect on my future relationships. I see these years impacting my future marriage both positively and negatively. Because I moved so much as a child, I feel that it is important for my future children to grow up in one place. I also want my children to have the opportunity to attend boarding school. On the other hand, my past relationships failed because I struggle to form deep bonds with people outside of my immediate family. As a child I never stayed in a geographical location long enough to form these connections. This caused me to mount defenses around my heart that I still struggle with today.
Positive Areas
One thing that I can contribute to a relationship is my ability to listen and empathize. I learned how to sincerely listen to others from my Mom. Likewise, I will show my family I love them through actions and words (which I also learned from my Mom). I have always been very good at giving compliments and can offer my future spouse words of affirmation. Despite our many trials, my family is still very close. I want my future family to form the same kind of close nit bonds that I have formed with my family of origin. This means continual communication and reunions. I also want to teach my kids to serve as my Mother does and think independently as my Father does.
What You would like to do Differently
Like I stated previously, I would like to raise my future family in one place. I want them to have the childhood I never did, making lifelong friendships. I would also like my husband to work close to home. I want both my future husband and me to have a strong presence in the household throughout our children’s childhoods. When my husband and I fight, I would like to shield the children from it, never bringing anger and hostility into the home. I will teach my children to be assertive. My Mom is unintentionally very passive, and I want my children to value self-respect and self-confidence.
How to Change
I would love nothing more than to raise my children in Teton Valley, Idaho. However, I am willing to go wherever is needed for the financial security of my family. I know living in one place my entire marriage may not be plausible, but I would like to try. If my husband and I ever have severe struggles, I would like to deal with them in positive ways. My parents would fight without thought for the children.
If and when my husband and I fight, I would like us to be more accepting of one another, be willing to forgive one another, be positive, and be open to seeking professional help. I will teach my children confidence by praising them for good deeds, letting them make their own choices, helping them realize their passions, and helping them surmount their fear of failure. I will also instill in them the importance of family bonding. I will do this by holding weekly family home evening and nightly prayer/scripture study.
My Dream
My dream for my future marriage is to have a loving and committed relationship. Love is a choice to stay committed to another person through the trials of life. I also want my husband and me to value sexual faithfulness. Faithfulness pertains to more than just your body. Sexual faithfulness includes your eyes and mind. I want my marriage to be centered around honesty, trust, and communication. I can do this by keeping my promises and being completely open with my husband. Naturally, I would expect the same from him. Communication is the foundation of trust. I want my husband and me to openly communicate beyond the superficial. My dream is for us to never take each other for granted. Lastly, I want my future marriage to be full of romance and intimacy.
