What are the common factors of an ex hating the other?
Being in a relationship, there are always that attachment and suddenly breaking up can cause anger to the other. Imagine expecting to be with him or her for the long term and suddenly breaks up, that can get you riled up, right? How about being really patient to someone then the break up happens, even the most little things can already be an issue that has been brought up not during the span of being together but is only brought up during the break up. Or what if you did something that terribly did hurt your ex?
There are different factors that affect this emotion and usually break ups or exes are never friends. Yes, you did share a special connection with him but it does not mean he will forever love you, so this also means that special connection you two once had will not hinder him from hating you too.
Were you able to accept the break up?
There are other people who could not accept the state she is in with her ex. This leads her to constantly message him, doing efforts to try and reach him, get a hold of him or get back with him. This consistent behavior can lead the ex to get annoyed. Whatever the reason is, you and him has broken up for a reason and maybe it is time for you to accept what has happened. A consistent annoying method will make him hate you more.
Give him space and time. It makes him hate you if you lose your cool all the time. Do not give pressure or try to get back as soon as you can. Let him go and give him some space to breathe.
Did you take time to think about why things ended?
It all happened so quickly, you weren’t able to realize it was actually over. After the break up, were you able to have a look at the relationship and review? Maybe there were cases that you overlooked, maybe there were times you really did make a bad decision that made him hate you? I know the feeling of thinking that we did nothing wrong but we need to look at the past maturely, putting aside the pride that we feel and if there really are mistakes made, we need to confront and accept that these are the reason why he hates you and there’s nothing you can do but to wait for him to calm down and take time to heal.
What did you do after the break up?
Sometimes, when are in pain, our emotions take the best of us and turns us into monsters that we never knew existed, our emotions can betray us and lets us do something that we did not think we are capable of actually doing. What did you do after the break up? Did you spread all his secrets? Did you make a scandal of the break up in social media pages? Did you tell other people about the things you and him talked about in the relationship that can possibly destroy friendship? Did you key his car? These are also causes that can make somebody hate you, not just an ex. So if you were able to do this after the break up, please say sorry, I know he may have broken up with you but it doesn’t mean you will act like a terrible human.
What am I gonna do with this?
Give him time. They say time heals all wounds and I believe in that too. Let those scars and wounds feel for a while, let him have some time to recover and give time to himself. Time to catch up with his friends or time to think about what life has been.
How about a little space too. Giving somebody space is allowing them to breathe amidst the chaos that is currently happening. There are times when everything in your mind is just too crowded and all you want is to be in an empty space. Do not contact him when you feel the need to talk, do not try to bombard him with messages. Just do not do anything that craves his attention especially when he really is explicitly showing you that he needs some time alone.
Let him hate you. Yes, I said it and I’m sorry. There really is a stage in every break up that the other hates the other and in this case, your ex hates you. Let him. There are just things he needs to let off, there are things he might say out of anger or he might totally ignore like you never existed, let him. Allow him to show all those emotions that he was never able to express during the moments you were together. Maybe he has some issues between both of you or within himself and the only outlet he knows is to direct anger at you.
Just keep in mind that letting him get mad at you is different from letting him emotionally, physically or mentally become abusive. Please know the difference between hate and abusive and draw the line. Remember that you are also a fragile being and you can get hurt too, stay safe and do not allow abusive behavior to be inflicted onto you because it is not okay in so many levels.