Table of Contents
Abstract
This paper will be discuss how lesbians and gay men are treated by society. It will go over how much harder it is for gay men to be accepted, especially by heterosexuals. Next, it will show how identifying as lesbian or gay can affect whether or not public affection is accepted in society. It will differentiate between what hardships lesbians and gay men face. Lastly, this paper will discuss the fact that lesbians are sexualized in the media which causes they to be more accepted than gay men in society.
In today’s society we have learned to be more accepting of gays and lesbians in our communities. In fact, just within the past ten years, the acceptance of homosexuals has increased substantially. That being said, this does not mean that lesbians, and especially gay men, are no longer being ridiculed and looked down upon from members in our society for being homosexual. This paper will delve into exactly how the perceptions of gays and lesbians differ in society’s views when it comes to “coming out”, public displays of affection, and the sexualization of gays and lesbians in online media. (Thesis) – It can be said that, in comparison to lesbians, gay men face more difficulties fitting in and be perceived in positive ways due to society’s perpetuation of toxic masculinity and homophobia. However, in contrast, lesbians end up dealing with more sexualization from society as a caveat for being more accepted by society.
Society VS Gay Men
While it may seem like society has changed its views on same-sex relationships over the last few years, there is still some hesitancy when it comes to the acceptance of the LGTBQ community, especially when it comes to gay men. An article written in 2013 by Martha Irvine called “Are lesbians more accepted than gay men?” looked to researcher Gregory Herek for his input. Herek’s research showed that “it’s often straight men who have the most difficult time with homosexuality – and particularly gay men.” Herek points out that, from a young age, all men, whether they be gay or straight, are taught to demonstrate their masculinity at all times.
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For many straight men, masculinity often correlates with their heterosexuality, and as a result, much of the homophobic harassment, slander, and even violence from these men are used in order to show how ‘masculine” they are (Irvine, 2013). Having to prove their masculinity is part of the reason why many gay men have such a hard time coming out as homosexuals to society. Many fear that, once they come out as gay, they are then sacrificing their masculinity for their sexuality, when in reality, one’s masculinity does not have anything to do with the gender/sex one is attracted to.
After considering this, it is easier to see how gay men have to endure a bit more homophobia in comparison to lesbians, who do not suffer in the same way from toxic masculinity. Now this is not to say that lesbians do not face harassment of their own. Irvine’s article merely shows that it is not as prevalent for women as it is for men in the gay community. For example, Irvine recalls that many people, especially teenagers, will call friends or peers “gay’ as a way to insult them for doing something that they did not think was ‘cool’ (Irvine, 2013). These people, even if they are not explicitly homophobic, are perpetuating the correlation of the word “gay” to being something negative. But conversely, if they see two women holding hands in public or dancing together, people are far less likely to say anything negative about it. Many in society tend to overlook lesbian couples, yet will get offended if two men do anything close to being considered homosexual.
Even the prospect of two men getting married in this country provoked a massive backlash from the community before the right to same-sex marriage was guaranteed to them by President Obama. An article by “Time for Families” stated that in accordance to the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners, people believe lesbians would make better parents not just over gay men but over heterosexuals couple as well (Stephen Scott, 2009). This is because records show children that were raised by lesbians go on to excel in life (Stephen Scott, 2009). But we need not to forget that gay men may have the legal right to be married and raise children in this country, but society still seems unable to accept them and treat them like equals.
Society’s view on homosexuality affects whether or not gay men and lesbians think it is safe to show any types of affection in public. In 2015, Jeff Lutes wrote about the topic in his article titled, “PDA in the LGBTQ”. He mentioned a survey that specifically talked about this: The “Formal Rights and Informal Privileges for Same-Sex Couples: Evidence from a National Survey Experiment.”
The survey was conducted by Long Doan, Annalise Loehr, and Lisa R. Milleron, on over one thousand people, consisting of both heterosexual and homosexual male and females, to see what their specific views were regarding same-sex couples. The research found that “95 percent [of those surveyed] said straight couples should be allowed to kiss on the cheek in public, [while] 72 percent said lesbian couples should, and only 55 percent said male couples should [be allowed to] do so” (Lutes, 2015). Shocking as this may or may not be, what came as an even bigger shock was the number of gay men and lesbians who showed to not be in favor of PDA in the LGBTQ community.
The results proved just how much more accepted lesbians are in the heterosexual community compared to the gays when it comes to publicly displaying affection (Doan, et al., 2014). To be exact, there were 17% more participants who supported public affection between lesbians. Ravneet Ahluwalia discussed another survey that was performed by Virgin Holidays in 2017 that discussed why members of the LGBTQ community prefer not to show affection in public. The truth of the matter is not that members of the LGBTQ community do not want to show affection to their significant others, but rather that they fear to do so because of the consequences that can occur if they do.
Most lesbian and gay couples have stated that they have endured some sort of prejudice when out in public: 58% say that they get stares from those around them, while 35% say they have been laughed at, and 29% say they have even experienced verbal abuse from people (Ahluwalia, 2014). Because of the blatant discrimination, many in this community fear to hold their partners’ hands, kiss them on the cheek, or even give them hugs in public. Particularly, the research shows that gay men are especially more likely to fear participating in PDA due to the backlash they receive from society. This is due to the fact that gay men simply receive more of this backlash, and usually in a more aggressive fashion as well.
Generally speaking, in this society, gay men seem to have a harder time being accepted compared to lesbians. In 2013, an article titled: “A survey of LGBT Americans” said that “one-in-four LGBT adults say there is a lot of social acceptance of lesbians, while only 15% say there is a lot of acceptance of gay men”. It could be that lesbians seem to be more welcomed by society due to the fetishization and sexualization of them by heterosexuals. In fact, according to Dr. Justin Lehmiller in January of 2018, the most favored search on the popular pornographic website, Pornhub, was “lesbian”. Furthermore, not only was it the most frequent search for 2017, but for the last three years as well (Lehmiller, 2018).
It stands to reason that many heterosexuals in society, both men and women, seem to favor lesbians over gay men because they find the thought of two women being together erotic. In contrast, when the same people picture two men having intimate relations, they feel large amounts of discomfort, which is why they feel like it is okay to demonize them. And while there are definitely people who identify as heterosexual and also enjoy watching gay porn, they often aren’t as vocal about it when compared to those who fantasize and sexualize lesbians for fear of being thought of as gay themselves, which carries a much more negative connotation.
