During a family gathering, I engaged my uncle James in a conversation in order to get his perspective on death. Since it was an emotive topic, I had to make perfect timing to start the dialogue. I had been trying to find the most appropriate moment but none had presented itself for the better part of the day. However, I was lucky to find a window of opportunity while he was alone on the patio. I walked to him and began a conversation that later proved to be informative to me and relieving to him. I am quite close to my uncle, and our relationship can be considered as cordial and loving. The conversation was relatively short since it lasted approximately 15 minutes.
I was quite nervous to start a conversation about death as I was not sure how my uncle would respond. I walked over to him and laid my hand on his shoulder to get his attention. I did not give him much time to prepare for what was coming next. “Uncle, what do you remember most about your father’s final moments?” I asked. I decided to break the ice by talking about my grandfather who had died as this would open up the conversation about death. Immediately, I saw that the question made him uncomfortable. He avoided eye contact and only made quick glances to see if I really meant what I asked. After a long silence, he seemed ready to start talking.
“Your grandfather lived for 70 years but his last 5 must have been his most exciting,” uncle James said. He went on to explain how my grandfather joyed traveling and watching his children conquer the world. Indeed, from his illustrations and examples, I could tell that my grandfather must have been a happy man during his final days. I could feel a sense of pride in my uncle’s eyes as he narrated his father’s story. However, his voice became shaky as he described how my grandfather met his death in a road accident. He seemed sad and did not want to delve into details about the period after my grandfather’s demise. Soon, we both became emotional and opted to change the topic since we had had enough of the sad talk.
After the talk, I felt sad about the pain my grandfather’s death had brought to his family and friends. I also felt sorrowful that he faced a painful death and did not have time to say goodbye to the people who mattered most to him. As for my uncle, I could tell that he had been able to let out a lot of emotions that he had held back for a long time. I believe he must have felt relieved having shared some of his most memorable moments about his father with me.
After the conversation, I realized that death is inevitable and that it could come to anyone at any time. In fact, I understood that it was just a matter of time before we get reunited with my grandfather in death. During our conversation, uncle James seemed to centre the events regarding my grandfather’s demise on faith and religious beliefs. At one point, he said that God had planned grandfather’s death long before it happened and that no amount of precaution could have prevented it from happening.