Who can decide which is right? In India, it is common for parents to choose the spouse of their children because they believe their marriage will last longer. Some are opposed to this idea; they may argue that marriage for love is better since the potential couple gets to know each other in advance so their marriage will last longer. Which side is right, though? When it comes to the topic of marriage in India, most prefer the tradition of an arranged marriage versus a love marriage because they feel as though it will last longer, there is no prior history in between the two to be it the way, and parents can choose a spouse for their children that is of their choice.
In the eyes of some people, marriage out of love is a much better option than arranged marriages. According to Bhowmick, couples who want to marry for love can help remove social evils for instance dowry because they have the liberty to take such decisions by themselves. The caste system gave birth to arranged marriages since the upper caste families didn’t want their children to marry outside of their community and/or below their caste. In some cases, marriage by love, people lost everything important to them for example parents, society, and religion. Though after some time, people’s perception started changing and they became familiar with the concept of love marriages. Gradually, love marriages became acceptable in Indian society as well. Love marriage is also better according to Debate.org because the couple can trust each other well. A love match gives women the liberty to refuse men that they do not like, and allow women to select men who they desire. A woman does not have to settle for a man who does not make her happy or who denies her the pursuit of happiness. The couple can marry under the Special Marriage Act which is a ling drawn process spanning over many days. If no objections are filed, and 2 witnesses are brought to the office of marriage registrar, then they will be declared as married. The judge said that at least five relatives from each side should be present at the time of the marriage. To fall in love is beautiful. No words or emotions can aptly express the feelings a person goes through when in love.
In American culture, the view on arranged marriages is not looked at favorably. Young men and women in India grow up with an opposite view on marriage. They know that when it comes time to marry their parents will find them a suitable mate and it will be considered sacred and a lifelong commitment. According to IndiaBIX Technologies, “[…] arranged marriage is better than love marriage because in an arranged marriage, after marriage couple respect each other and try to know about life partner what is his/her desire. This marriage is also done by the support of parents and family members and blessings also.” Typically, the parents of the bride are in control and make the choices necessary to make a good match for their daughter. According to Bently, “[…] within ten years, the connection felt by those in arranged marriages are said to be around twice as strong. Relationship experts claim this is because arranged matches are carefully considered, with thought going into whether potential partners’ families, interests and life goals are compatible.” If one is not married by a certain age in India a person can be shunned and considered not holy. Arranged marriage benefits many due to the similarities in background, education, and religious values. In India, arranged marriages are long drawn out processes, where finalizing the perfect match may take months and even years (Bhowmick). Although the practice of arranged marriage has remained favored in India, the whole procedure has seen some major modernizing changes. Nowadays, the criteria have also changed. For example, in urban areas, working women often prefer as better matches with similar professional stature to the grooms. Emphasis is put on education and values, rather than just efficiency in the domestic arena. Criteria like blood tests are also gaining more and more favor among the urban community. The prospective partners are allowed to interact more freely nowadays, over the phone or even face to face. The concept of courtship has gained favors with the couple getting the opportunity to know each other, sometimes for as long a year between the actual marriage dates. While not much have changed in the rural areas, there still is a general increase in awareness when it comes to issues like child marriages and dowry.
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