My three ideals or beliefs are respect, honesty, and being open minded and non-judgmental.
Respect is huge for me because after witnessing my mom get abused for years showed me my father had no respect for my mother or his children. I remember my mom telling me, “The day I left your father was the day my lifelong journey began on breaking the cycle of domestic violence and making sure my daughters never go through this abuse”. After witnessing this for years it affected my relationships. I promised myself I would never let a man disrespect me like the way my father did to my mother. I was lucky enough that I found a great husband that supports and respects me. Being with my husband has showed me that not all men are like my father and I was lucky enough to have found a man who values, support and respects me.
There was a time that I blamed my mother for staying with my father, the abuser. I did not understand why my mother didn’t respect herself enough to put up with the abuse, but as I got older, I learned about the causes and effects of domestic violence, I then was able to understand why she stayed in a harmful relationship. Once, I asked my mother why she doesn’t leave my father and she replied, “fear of dying and nowhere to go with six children.” Most domestic Violence victims stay in the relationship because fear. After learning about my mom story, I know understand my mom didn’t respect herself how did she expect to get respect.
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I feel that honesty expresses respect for oneself and for others. Being honest is value I really think is an important quality to have. It’s sad because I feel honesty is a quality that many don’t possess. Growing up my mother was constantly trying to hide abuse from the world. I constantly had to watch what I said at school, with friends, and even family members. My mom was constantly coaching us on what to say to people about her bruises and scares. I remember once my mom was so scared of my father that she finally called the cops, but after she dialed the number she got scared and hung up the phone. A few minutes later the cops showed up and my told the cops that that’s it must have been her kids’. I remember thinking, just tell the truth so the cops can help you. Just watching my mom constantly be dishonest it was hurtful.
Every family has a secret. My family secret was domestic violence. My mother was taught by her family that being hit by her husband is a private family matter and never to never tell her secrets. She could not to share with anyone. My mother was worried about how people might perceive her for staying in an abusive relationship or the negative attitude she might receive from people, so she kept this secret for a very long time and just lied about everything. But the truth was is that my mother inherited this unhealthy trait that was passed on to her by the women in her family.
One day after my mother and father got in to a fight she saw how frightened we were and pleaded to us “I am sorry that I am not a good role model for you, but please do not follow my example and I promise I am going get help and be honest about what going on.” . After this discussion my mom was honest with her family and found help. When my mom was ready to get honest, she was able to get help and get away from my father.
I will never judge someone until I am in their shoes. One of my favorite values about myself is that I am non-judgmental. My childhood had a lot of ups and downs. The day my mom left my father she had nothing, but she was determined to give us a better life. It was always her dream to become a nurse and she knew it was going be a long hard road. My mom was able to find a shelter that took battered woman with children.
During this period my mom started to work again and went back to school. This transition was difficult for us because we didn’t have money and children at school were so judgmental and cruel. When other students found out we lived in a shelter they would call me and my siblings horrible names. I remembered kids saying I was homeless, and I smelled because I didn’t have a home. Going through that made me strong and made me have a thicker skin, it also made me realize these kids didn’t realize we were in this shelter because we were hiding from my father that was trying to harm my mother. These kids judged me before even knowing my story.
Over time I always remembered that feeling of being judged and always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. In high school I had a best friend that was very judgmental and superficial. Everyone would always ask me, “How are you friends with her? She is mean and nasty to people and you guys are total opposite?”. What people didn’t know is that she was in a abusive relationship and her boyfriend would always put her down. When we first met I had heard the rumors she was a nasty person, but I wanted to see for myself.
One day after school I found her in the bathroom crying and that’s when she broke down and told me everything. I was able to relate with her because my mom to was in an abusive relationship. After that day we were able to form a great relationship because I then understood why she was so nasty and mean. If I would have judged her based off what people said we wouldn’t have formed a beautiful friendship and I wouldn’t have been able to help her get out of the nasty relationship.
Without honesty you cannot have trust. Personally, I’m not a very trusting person but I always give people the benefit of the doubt. My attitude is trust them until they prove me wrong. Surrounding yourself with people that are honest, and you can trust is the best feeling. You feel secure and have a peace of mind. I also understand that not everyone is honest and trustworthy. Some people are miserable with themselves and their life.
Another value I admire is being open-minded. I am very open minded, but I find it hard to share my stories sometimes in fear of judgement and rejection. It inspires me when people are open with me. It makes me feel so great when people feel comfortable enough with me that they can share something private. When someone can be so open with me, I think it speaks volumes about the level of our relationship with each other, or how they see me as a person to tell me their secrets. I admire this quality because it shows how brave they that they can share their thoughts with me and be straight forward with me.
For a person to be respected by others, a person must first respect themselves. I feel only when one has self-respect can they extend the same courtesy to others.
Growing up for years watching my mom get abused, I always felt that my mom never respected herself enough to know what my father was doing was not right. Therefore, respect and self-respect I feel go hand in hand. Self-respect to me is a form of love for and acceptance of oneself. Respecting yourself means giving and defining your own worth and value as a human being. I just feel if you don’t respect yourself, it will be more difficult for you to respect anyone else. So, it all begins with self-respect.
If I knew I was dying in six weeks, I would grab my daughter, husband, and passport and head to the airport. One of my favorite things to do is travel and experience new things such as different cultures, food, and people. Travel is the best education a person could receive.
I feel when you travel you really can find yourself. When you visit a country where you don’t speak the language, you will learn new was to communicate and learn how accepting others are of those who are different from themselves. Traveling gets you out of your comfort zone and is the best way to learn something about yourself. I have already traveled so many places with my husband and we always have the best time. Even though my daughter is only seven months old and she will probably not remember the places we’ll travel to, but just watching her experience new things will bring me joy in my last moments of life.
If I had to leave my house and only grab three things, I would grab my family pictures, passport and other important documents, and jewelry. I have albums of pictures of my baby pictures, family vacations growing up, and pictures of me and my husband’s travels. My albums of pictures are memories that can never be recreated, and pictures that are not stored digitally like practically all pictures are these days. My second thing I would grab is my passport and other important documents, such as birth certificate and social security card. I would grab these essential documents because they’re important things that everyone should have.
My third item I would grab is my jewelry. I have some jewelry that inherited from grandparents and jewelry my mom gave me on my wedding day. This jewelry has sentimental value that could never be replaced, and I hope to one day pass it down to my daughter.
In ten years, I see myself graduated from the Radiography Program with an Associate degree in radiology. After I receive my license in radiology, I will have the opportunity to continue my education in other area in the radiology field such as MRI, CT scan or ultrasound tech. My goal is to one day own a home and have a vacation home by the beach. I want to be financially stable and make sure my daughter
