‘Never put your drink down. If you’re at a party, and when you get old enough to go to clubs and bars, never put your drink down. Don’t lose sight of your drink and if you do, get a new one. Always. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.’ I will never forget the words that my dad uttered to me as he dropped me off at college. He made similar speeches over my previous high school years, but they were not as relevant then. These words though were reverent, they were serious, and I knew they were to be taken to heart. I have never, ever, let my dad down. When my friends put their drinks down, I pick them back up for them, and I put them back in their hands. My male friends look at me strangely and I have to explain to some of them why it would never occur to them. Never putting your drink down at a bar seems unreasonable, and it is in no way foolproof, but women are raised in such a way that it pays to be cautious—at least that’s what we hope.
In a blog post by Jessica Ford and Paula England, ‘what percent of college women are sexually assaulted in college?’, 11% of women in college that were surveyed were incapacitated while experiencing sexual assault. However, 25% of women surveyed experienced ‘any of the types’ of assault experiences or scenarios, including physical force, attempted physical force, or a combination of these three (including incapacitation). A common misconception is that we, as women, must keep our drinks close to avoid becoming incapacitated—that is, we do not want to be drugged. While that is very true, drugs are not the only incapacitates. Being asleep or passed out and being too drunk falls under the classification of ‘incapacitation’. According to the online survey conducted by Ford and England, 25% of women experience some sort of sexual assault by their 4th year of college.
Despite the prevalence of sexual assault awareness and campaigns on college campuses, many women still do not report sexual assault, and sadly, not even rape. Out of 6,159 students surveyed, 3, 326 (54%) had been assaulted, and 924 had been raped. Of those, 46 (a mere 5%) reported their rape, and 1,397 (42%) had told no one about the assault. This could be because while sexual assault is rampant, we, as a society, often view that 11% of incapacitated scenarios of sexual assault as a fault of the victim, and not the accused. This is not from an ‘outsiders’ perspective: women who had been drinking prior to a sexual assault felt a larger degree of responsibility than those who had not been drinking.
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In ‘Alcohol-Related Sexual Assault: A Common Problem among College Students’ (2002), Antonia Abbey reviewed previous studies on alcohol, attitudes, and sexual assault. One particular survey questioned both men and women about their views on whether or not a scenario described could be regarded as either consensual or not. It was discovered that men and even women were found to have the opinion that when alcohol was involved, the situation was more likely to be deemed as consensual, or at the very least: ‘much less likely to recognize that the woman does not want to have sex’. Another widely accepted reason that women may be seen as at-fault for sexual assault, is if they were ‘previously engaged’ in sexual behavior before the assault or attack occurred. According to Abbey’s study, 74% of assault victims had been previously engaged before the assault, however, intoxicated women are ‘less likely to realize that […] they are encouraging [the man] to expect sexual intercourse’.
Alcohol Myopia’, a phenomenon labeled by Steele and Josephs in 1990 referred to the situation in which a man, who is intoxicated, interprets any and all friendly gestures as a sign of desire and sexual encouragement, as opposed to a woman simply being friendly. In addition, the man may also disregard any rejections she might send his way. Even if a woman is persistent in her refusals, if she is not forceful enough in her direct intentions, a stubborn man may interpret her behavior as ‘try later’. According to Abbey, this ‘persistent’ behavior may stem from the traditional gender roles American men and women were raised on. We have not yet escaped the mindset that a woman does not want to give in too quickly to her date, or she might be labeled a whore or a slut but may be ‘convinced’ to go further .
In another study referenced by Abbey, over 20% of men thought that ‘verbal pressure was acceptable’ if the woman or the man was drinking, or if they met in an alcohol-centered setting. This goes hand-in-hand with the fact that men are more likely to assume that a woman holding a beer at the bar is more likely to go have sex with him, compared to her friend standing beside her without alcoholic beverage . Other incapacitates, such as alcohol, may often lead to a conscious or unconscious decision that leads to an assault, on the part of the assailant. It is suggested that if a man forces himself upon a woman under the influence of alcohol even once, he is more likely to justify his behavior and deem alcohol as the cause; this could lead to him repeating the behavior and using mind-altering substances as an excuse.
In related studies conducted by George and Marlatt in 1986 and George and Norris in 1991, men’s sexual arousal levels were affected by assumed mindsets, not by alcohol consumption (Abbey, 2002, p. 121). These men were all given non-alcoholic drinks– some were told it was alcohol, some were told it was not—and then shown sexual pictures. Men who were under the assumption that they had been drinking alcohol were more aroused by forceful depictions of sexual assault and rape than the non-alcohol group. This supports the argument that men may use alcohol as a crutch and an excuse to commit assault and rape because alcohol dulls your senses.
We live in a world where women, in particular, are not safe in a setting where alcohol is being consumed, and even more so if they are also taking part in consumption. We like the idea of being adults, but we have to choose between going out to get overpriced drinks at the crowded bar or going to that dimly lit house party. So, I dance around at the bars, drinks in hand, that will never be set down behind me. Us women will be so focused on keeping bad things out of our drinks, we won’t even pay attention to who is lurking around, counting how many we’ve had. Why should we, when we know? We know we’ll be crawling home safe, maybe drunk-dialing an old fling, or possibly thinking the better of it. Maybe swipe through Tinder–he’s a cute one with these drunk goggles on.
But is he a good one? Would he actually stop if I said no? Would that fling leave me be if I simply fell asleep before he knocked on my door? Alcohol may make us brave, and make us think that we can dance, and make us flirtatious, but let us not be fooled. It does not make us a good judge of character, and it does not make us stronger. As discussed in this essay, after a night of drinking, men might not see no as no; a drunk woman might get home and be a tired woman and no man wants to be ‘led on’; simply drinking alcohol makes a woman seem more sexually promiscuous in a man’s mind, we don’t have to say a word; lastly, alcohol lowers a woman’s physical ability to resist assault. While it is not fair that we, as women, must never let ourselves get too drunk, and be overly cautious about who we bring home at the end of our drunken Saturday night out it is frighteningly necessary.
