Every day, women worldwide go through the traumatic experience of being sexually violated. More often than not, these crimes go unreported and the assailant gets away without any repercussions. The me-too movement has recently shined a light on sexual abuse, which has many women sharing their stories. Women who do choose to share information about their injustices, and go through the process of reporting it, are also met with animosity and suspicion. It is important to take these accusations seriously and stand with women rather than bring them down for speaking out.
One commonality with cases of sexual abuse is that they usually go unreported. After being assaulted, many women are scared to speak out about it. It is said that around “90% of sexual assault victims on college campuses do not report the assault” (Statistics About Sexual Violence). This is caused by a substantial amount of reasons, including: the fear of not being believed, being embarrassed, or downplaying of the incident. Sceptics of the “me-too” movement will say that women who come out about their assault after a long period of time are lying because they would have reported the incident right after it occured.
These opponents clearly misunderstand the impact abuse has on these women. One of the main reasons women wait so long to speak out is because “victim feels invaded and defiled, while simultaneously experiencing the indignity of being helpless and at the mercy of another person. This sense of shame often causes victims to blame themselves for the sexual misconduct of their perpetrator” (Engel). These women are afraid of the repercussions, and don’t want anyone to think less of them for what they’ve gone through. This pushes them into hiding, and it can take years for them to build up the courage to report the crimes. This is why most women never share their story, and instead live with their shame for the rest of their lives. The amount of time between an assault and the report does not have any bearing on the credibility of the report itself.
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Another reason women may feel less-inclined to speak about their injustices is because their abuser is still in contact with them. Abuse is always about power, and many women are in a position where their abuser exhorts a massive amount of power over a key aspect of their life. The abuser could be their boss, a family member, or a significant other. Those who question women in the me-too movement may believe that women getting abused can leave their situation. However that is not always the case.
For example, one survivor, Julianna, said “While most people visualized their house as a safe place, I saw mine as a jail. I felt like I was a prisoner in my own home…” in reference to her stepfather who abused her from the time she was young (Julianna’s Story). When a women’s main source of support comes from the person hurting them, they feel as if they have no way to get out. There is no option but to suffer through until they have enough resources to survive on their own. This also make it harder to report the crimes because without their abuser, they would be unable to support themselves.
Though most women who share their story will be met with support, there will always be people who don’t believe them or try to discredit their experiences. One women, Chloe Dykstra said after she shared her experience online she “was attacked relentlessly for months. There was an organized group of people online whose sole purpose was to try to disprove [her]” (MeToo Survivors Still Face Harassment). Rather than getting the support she needed, she was brought down and shamed. Opposers will state the reason for discrediting stories is that women often can’t keep their story straight.
Sharing these personal experiences take a toll on women, and being forced to recount such a traumatic incident can be a breaking point for many survivors. It is known that “memory loss is a natural survival skill and defense mechanism humans develop to protect themselves from psychological damage. Violence, sexual abuse and other emotionally traumatic events can lead to dissociative amnesia, which helps a person cope by allowing them to temporarily forget details of the event” (Staff). After going through their sexual abuse, the victim is usually unable to fully recount what has happened to them, and gets the story mixed up. Add in the amount of time it takes for a victim to come forward, and the memory would be very foggy in their brain.
It is crucial to support women who have been abused and are undergoing the process of receiving justice for it. Adversaries who scrutinize these women are misinformed and should not be credited. Being assaulted is a distressing and agonizing experience for a women. Sharing this with other people takes bravery, especially when the survivor decides to make their story public. If women are continuously bashed or put down for sharing their stories, there will be a regression in assault cases that are reported, sending women back into the period of silence they have just started to come out of.
Works Cited
- Statistics About Sexual Violence . 2015, www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf.
- Engel, Beverly. “Why Don’t Victims of Sexual Harassment Come Forward Sooner?” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-compassion-chronicles/ 201711/why-dont-victims-sexual-harassment-come-forward-sooner.
- “Julianna’s Story.” RAINN | The Nation’s Largest Anti-Sexual Violence Organization, www.rainn.org/survivor-stories/julianna.
- “MeToo Survivors Still Face Harassment, Fight for Change.” Time, Time, 20 Sept. 2018, time.com/5401356/silence-breakers-one-year-later/.
- Staff, Casa Palmera. “How Trauma Affects Your Memory.” Casa Palmera, 23 July 2015, casapalmera.com/blog/how-trauma-affects-your-memory/.
