It is speculated that social media has become a third wheel in romantic relationships leading to a decrease in relationship duration and dissatisfaction. The rising popularity of social media may cause concern regarding the quality of connections. Edison Research found nearly a 67% increase in social media usage from 2008 to 2018, supporting the notion that the United States may be engaging in a metaphorical digital age three-way. We can appreciate the rise in technology, however, it is valuable to explore the role of the digital users’ responsibility to electronically dial down and engage in face to face interactions.
Establishing quality in person engagements strengthens the romantic bond, reinforces connection, and builds a sturdier foundation of trust. Partnerships generally experience greater satisfaction when trust has been established. Additionally, there is convincing empirical evidence to support this claim. Researchers suggested that trust reflects caring, commitment, and devotion to one’s needs. Losing trust in one’s partner can trigger self-protective motives (i.e. jealousy), which ultimately, can lead to a demise of connection altogether (Murray, Derrick, Leder, & Holmes, 2008). A study conducted by researchers revealed that the perception of their partner’s secrecy was associated with a loss in their partner’s trust (Uysal, Lin, & Bush, 2012).
Additionally, low trust in their partner was associated with higher instances of self-concealment from their partner (Uysal et al., 2012). A dissipation of trust is more frequently associated with greater variability in overall relationship quality (Campbell, Simpson, Boldry, & Rubin, 2010), which might subsume negative assumptions pertaining to their partner’s external activity (e.g. picture “likes”). Once the romantic connection begins to dwindle and jealousy manifests, a pattern of toxic cognitive schemas may begin to infiltrate and poison the relationship. The detrimental effects of jealousy can produce a domino effect of resentment and set a clear path for relationship unfulfillment, thereby leaving room for social media validation to cozy up.
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The upswing of technology has increased smartphone ownership. Pew Research determined that smartphone possession has increased nearly 29% since 2011. With a predictively consistent incline, the percentage of smartphone owners in the United States jumped from 58% in 2014 to nearly 64% in 2015 (Smith, 2015). This alarming technological dependency has made it substantially more convenient to dial out of the real world and disappear into the matrix of digital media. This number is particularly high for young adults (ages 18-29) making up approximately 85% of smartphone owners.
This habitual media usage among young adults is hindering their progress for wholesome social adaptation. Face-to-face connection is being replaced with FaceTime. In person flattery is being swapped out for “likes.” Instead of going out on dates, people are exchanging DMs. The practice of romantic courtship has transitioned to a type of social media foreplay.
Jealousy tends to come from a fearful place in an attempt to preserve the relationship. An evolutionary perspective might propose that jealousy is important for survival. Jealousy has undergone evolutionary adaptation in an effort to adjust to society’s changing threats (Buss & Haselton, 2005). Additionally, jealousy has evolved to take on different perspectives as a result of an evolving society.
More specifically, jealousy can be understood from an emotional perspective and a sexual pespective. When a valuable relationship is at risk of demise, the individual is susceptible to a loss of some kind (e.g. emotional, financial, provider, caregiver, child bearer, etc.). Sex differences are an important determinant of loss type. Women tend to experience jealousy when they view their partners infidelity from an emotional perspective. If emotional straying manifests in the relationship, their unloyal mate may give their resources to another.
Buss, Larsen, Westen, and Semmelroth (1992) proposed that women are more fearful of their mate’s emotional infidelity because this loss makes her vulnerable and weakened against societal adversity. Buss, et al. (1992), also mentioned that women have a tendency to be genetically predisposed to engage in motivated behaviors as a means of protection against infidelity (i.e. jealousy). Emotional attachment serves as a protective strategy to ensure a deep connection with their partner. The deeper the connection between the two partners, the more it serves as a type of commitment insurance for loyal companionship.
Buss et al. (1992) suggested that men experience jealousy from a different perspective. Males tend to operate from a sexual perspective. Sexual jealousy evolved as a means of protecting his DNA from being discarded. In other words, a male is unable to pass on his genes to preserve his species if he is at risk of losing his sexual partner. If a women begins devoting attention to an external threat (i.e. other suitable bachelors on the internet), the male may begin to perceive this as a potential infliction on his pride and halt his mating opportunity.
When couples feel confidence in their relationships’ overall connection, they perceive their connection to be healthier and more fulfilling. Young (2008) stated the importance of social connection for optimal mental health. By nature, human beings are inherently social creatures. We evolve collectively as a species and in fact are organically drawn to companionship. This natural motivation for social involvement is not attributed solely as a personal preference. Social engagement also serves as a survival tactic.
