Table of Contents
- The Principles of and Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Communication
- Levels of Self-disclosure and Emotional Intelligence in Various Relationships
- The Impact of Gender and Culture on Interpersonal Communications
- Strategies for Using Communication Techniques to Resolve Interpersonal Conflicts
- References
To Mark and Jane, The life of a newly engaged couple is characterized by the need to share on a level that transcends the material and encompasses such intangible aspects as emotion thus, necessitating the need to communicate effectively. At this point, you may be wondering why I feel the need to point out something so obvious. I’d like to assure you, however, that it is not that simple. In order to convey ideas, knowledge and information in a way that allows you to be understood and that takes into account the communicational needs of your partner, you need a good grounding in interpersonal communication.
The Principles of and Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Communication
- The principles of effective interpersonal communication provide guidelines within which we communicate with others. They are:
- Source-receiver. The source is the person who formulates and sends the message while the receiver is the person who perceives and comprehends the message.
- Encoding-decoding. Encoding refers to the act of producing messages while decoding refers to the act of understanding messages.
- Messages. These are signals that serve as stimuli for a receiver and are received by our senses.
- Channel. This refers to the medium through which messages pass. The channel acts as a link between the source and receiver. An example of a channel would be face-to-face communication.
- Noise is anything that distorts a message or prevents the receiver from receiving the message. There are four types of noise: physical, physiological, psychological and semantic noise.
- Context refers to the setting within which communication takes place and that affects the form and content of messages. The dimensions of context are: physical, temporal, socio-psychological and cultural.
- Ethics. This refers to the moral dimension of communication. Communication choices need to be guided by ethical considerations as well as by concerns about effectiveness and satisfaction.
For instance, it would be wrong to lie to your significant other. Communication, however, is not an infallible tool and it remains subject to several barriers. These include:
- Physical barriers. These refer to the natural and environmental barriers that affect communication. They range from a simple closed door to the noise of a crowded room or the rush of a strong wind during a storm. However, physical barriers can be classified into; time, place, space, climate and, noise.
- Cultural barriers. These include: language, signs and symbols, stereotypes and prejudices, behaviour, beliefs and ethnocentrism which is the belief that one’s own is better than others.
- Physiological barriers. These are barriers that occur due to the physical condition of the participants in the communication cycle. For instance: hearing impairments, visual impairments and, speech impairments.
- Semantic barriers. These are barriers that are attributed to differences in the meanings of words. Semantic barriers may occur due to the connotative or denotative meanings of words.
The connotative meanings of words are those meanings that are more implied than direct while the denotative meanings are those that are more direct than implied. As a newly engaged couple, barriers such as these should not be enough to stop you. You must be able to overcome them. A semantic barrier can be overcome through proper word choice, language classes or seeking clarification when a misunderstanding occurs. Physical barriers can be overcome by picking the right communication setting. Cultural barriers can be overcome through inter-cultural education while physiological barriers can be overcome through the use of technology such as braille keyboards, hearing aids or accessibility settings that read out digital display screens.
Levels of Self-disclosure and Emotional Intelligence in Various Relationships
Self-disclosure refers to the process of letting another person know what you think, feel, or want. It often involves risk and differs from self-description in that self-description involves disclosure of nonthreatening information. Self-disclosure is important because it increases accuracy in communication, reduces stress, increases self-awareness and strengthens relationships. Understanding yourself enough to be able to communicate your moods, emotions and wants to your partner allows them to understand and address these issues thus, strengthening the relationship and reducing stress.
The goal, according to the Johari window model, is to advance your self-disclosure to the open area where information about you is known by both you and your spouse. This is because this area is the result of open communication and the maturation of the relationship. Constructive criticism is a form of self-disclosure that helps another person look at their own behaviour without putting that person on the defensive. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and regulate one’s and other’s emotions.
The nature of an effective interpersonal relationship involves actively communicating with at least one other individual, and emotion inevitably arises within conversation. Failing to recognize or manage one’s emotions can cause a lack of understanding, conflict, or unhappiness with one’s self and others. For self-disclosure to occur effectively, a measure of emotional intelligence must be applied. This is necessary because emotional intelligence allows you to understand your own emotions and the impact that the information you disclose will have on your partner.
It allows you to answer the questions of: How much and how intimate? With whom? Under what conditions? For instance, it would not be right to tell your partner that you don’t like their style of dress during a period of illness. Emotional intelligence plays a role in our everyday lives by allowing us to understand our partners on an emotional level. Emotional intelligence is the glue that holds a relationship together. If you can understand how he/she feels then you can address those emotions. If you can understand how you feel then you can communicate those emotions and have them addressed. Thus, emotional intelligence and self-disclosure are inextricably linked.
The Impact of Gender and Culture on Interpersonal Communications
Gender refers to the socially constructed characteristics of women and men such as norms, roles and relationships of and between groups of women and men. It varies from society to society and can be changed. (Kari, 2019) Culture is the aggregation of the knowledge, beliefs, arts, morals, laws, customs, and any other capabilities and habits acquired by a person or a group of people. Most people are born either male or female and are taught appropriate norms and behaviours including how they should interact with others of the same or opposite sex within households, communities and work places.
When individuals or groups do not “fit” established gender norms they often face stigma, discriminatory practices or social exclusion. It is important to be sensitive to different identities that do not necessarily fit into binary male or female sex categories (Kari, 2019). The same can be said about culture due to the effect that culture has on people’s interactions with each other. For instance, in Uganda, a woman kneeling before a man when welcoming him home would communicate her modesty and deference while in more empowered cultures such as Britain, it would most likely be seen as an antiquated and cruel practice. This does not mean that either culture is right or wrong, just that they are just different.
We must keep these differences in mind when communicating with others whose gender and culture differ from our own. In your case, you must keep in mind that your spouse has a history and gender-based identity of their own and when communicating, what works for you may not work for them. You must respect these differences and avoid logic traps such as ethnocentrism, sexism or misandry. One way to do this would be through cultural or gender sensitivity training.
Strategies for Using Communication Techniques to Resolve Interpersonal Conflicts
Understanding the conflict
As an individual, you need to understand your position and interests in the conflict. This process includes figuring out what you really want and need, your concerns and, your hopes and fears when approaching the conflict. This applies for the conflicting party since they must also understand their position in order to communicate it effectively. It is common for conflicting parties to compete over positions rather than resolving the issue.
Interpersonal communication, however, is not about determining the winner or loser in an argument. Rather, it is about ensuring that both parties feel heard and that the solution has taken into account their wants and need. In a situation where it has not, the goal is to make the other party understand the necessity of the action taken and to ensure that they do not feel short-changed. However, none of this can happen if the parties do not understand their current positions and the extents to which they are willing to compromise in order to resolve the conflict.
Talking to the opposing party
You need to pay attention to the other party’s opinion and discern the source of the conflict. This is because there are always two sides to a story and, in order to resolve a conflict, you need to exercise unbiased decision making and strive for the resolution of the conflict rather than for personal goals. In order to do this, you must foster an environment that promotes open communication and does not penalise feedback. For instance, if your significant other tells you they feel that you are not addressing their needs, the correct response would be, “Why do you feel that way?” Not, “Do you know how that makes me feel?” Ideas should also be considered and both parties should be allowed to take part in finding a resolution. The goal is to reach a compromise that works for both parties.
Letting off steam by talking about each other’s strong emotions
Talking about strong emotions is essential to ease tensions. However, it is not advisable to react irrationally to statements from the opposing side. For instance, starting a shouting match would only perpetuate the conflict rather than resolve it. Emotional intelligence is the key to being able to express and listen to strong emotions without upsetting the other party or making them feel attacked. After all, everyone is entitled to their own emotions and opinions that are not second to or inferior to yours, no matter how much you may disagree with them.
Avoiding hasty conclusions
This can be done by asking questions and making sure to gather enough information to make an informed decision or inference. Active listening shows your attention and concern for the situation and allows you to tune in to all the cues being given off by the other party. Active listening also shows the other party that you are mentally present and encourages them to be more open. Some of the active listening skills include: paraphrasing, posturing and, the use of acknowledging gestures such as nodding.
Brainstorming solutions
Once you have acknowledged each other’s interests and identified the interests you have in common, have a brainstorming session where you look for solutions for the conflict. It should be in an informal setting that is safe and comfortable in order to create an environment of openness. Understand that you may have different ideologies and avoid judging or criticizing any ideas that may not fit in with your ideals since this may prevent the airing of ideas that may have, otherwise, helped the situation.
Search for a win-win solution where both parties feel that they have been heard and that their issues have been addressed. In a situation where it is impossible to balance the interests of both parties, focus on making sure that you communicate in a way that leaves both parties feeling satisfied with the communication process itself rather than dissatisfied by the lack of a solution. An example of a potential conflict would be a disagreement with your significant other over a close friend of the opposite gender who spends a lot of time with them. In a case like this, one of the potential strategies would be to avoid making hasty generalizations or jumping to conclusions and to talk to your spouse about how you feel. Another possible solution would be to address the issues within yourself that you feel are the root cause of these feelings of jealousy.
The Role of Communication in Developing and Maintaining One’s Self-concept, Self-image, and Self-esteem
Self-concept refers to what an individual believes that they are. For instance, in regards to their attributes and abilities. Self-image refers to an individual’s perceptions of themselves while self-esteem refers to the perceived value that an individual attaches to themselves. Communication plays a key role in developing one’s self-esteem. For instance, in a situation where a person is encouraged to air their unique views without the looming possibility of retribution or disregard, the person’s confidence in themselves grows.
This ties in with the whole basis of interpersonal communication since its goal is to ensure that everyone feels heard and that their opinions are valued. Communication also plays a role in the development of one’s self-image by allowing us to seek clarification on this image from others. This, in turn, allows us to know where we currently are and where we want to go image-wise. For instance, in your case, if your significant other asks for your opinion on how they look, you must be honest but in a way that does not damage their self-esteem at the same time.
This ties in with the notion of self-concept since they are relatively similar. Self-esteem, self-image and self-concept are important in our relationships because they determine the roles that we play in said relationships and the progression of these relationships. For instance, in a relationship where both partners possess positive versions of these attributes, communication is clear, it occurs on even ground and is not hindered by internal issues such as fear of abandonment or feelings of a lack of worth.
Effective interpersonal communication fosters these attributes and they, in turn, allow us to understand our flaws without being dominated by them thus, increasing emotional intelligence and making effective interpersonal communication more likely. To take advantage of this cycle, you must create an environment that fosters healthy and effective interpersonal communication In conclusion, effective interpersonal communication is a tool that you must learn to use in order to foster a good relationship between yourself and your significant other. You must understand yourself as well as your partner and be ready to overcome any barrier that may come up in order to grow together. You must be as ready to listen as you are to share and you must value your significant other’s contributions.
References
- Kari, A. (2019). Gender, equity and human rights. Retrieved from World Health Organization: https://www.who.int/gender-equity-rights/understanding/gender-definition/en/