We all know some people who are just excellent communicators and stand out from the rest of the group. Maybe, you think that they were just born that way, or that it comes natural to them. Communicating effectively isn’t a natural talent that some people have and others don’t; it’s something that anyone can learn and practice. In this essay I will be talking about strategies that can help one hone and master their interpersonal communication skills.
I will be sharing techniques for getting your message across effectively in the workplace, and explain how to combat communication challenges with your peers and supervisors. I will also discusses how to tackle difficult situations, how to handle interruptions, respond to critical feedback, and communicate not only in the Army (ie: customs and courtesies), but in day to day life as well. Being successful in a workplace relies on one’s ability to communicate well. Communication is important because it allows us to share interests, concerns, support each other, organize and make tactful decisions; allowing us to work together effectively.
What is interpersonal communication? It is communication that is face to face, exchanging information, feelings and the overall meaning of what is being discussed. It has a lot to do with body language and facial expressions and also the tone of your voice and how you communicate with someone else. While communicating you’re actively giving and collecting information non-stop.
For example while you are talking to a friend, they most likely aren’t going to have a straight face on the whole time you’re communicating. When one person is talking the other is most likely smiling, nodding, shaking their head or giving some type of feedback. Asking questions also obtains information on whom you are communicating with. First of all, it’s a great way to start a conversation and shows interest in the person and the topic at hand. It generally grabs a person’s attention, desire to listen, have an answer, depending on the tone in which you asked the question, and your body language would affect how they would respond to you.
There are many elements that go into a conversation, one of them is active listening and knowing when to speak. Listening includes reactions or body language showing you are a part of the conversation essentially giving feedback to the person who is speaking to you. The listener ultimately is responding during a conversation, but when is the best time to speak without cutting off the person speaking?
This may seem unimportant because we have conversations on a daily basis and thinking about it you probably don’t think you have an issue with not interrupting someone and it most likely comes naturally. Take for instance kids, if you have them or maybe you have relatives and have been around kids. You are having an adult conversation and child will just come up and try and grab your attention by yelling or screaming interrupting your conversation. They don’t understand the aspect of communication aside from noise coming out and the attention that they get.
Having good manners makes having a conversation come with ease. You’re more polite and respectful with the other person, pausing for them so they can respond and vice versa. Having manners goes hand in hand with customs and courtesies you can relate them both when you have to talk to a supervisor. You’re generally not going to be disrespectful to them and you would give them the utmost respect by active listening and responding when asked a question or they have paused what they are saying, expecting feedback.
Having good manners and customs and courtesies are important but sometimes it’s inevitable to have someone try and jump in on a conversation because they overheard or maybe the person your communicating with just has the urge to cut you off and interrupt what you’re saying. A way to avoid them interrupting you are to speed your conversation up but not too fast, where what you are saying becomes incoherent. Sending nonverbal signals also has an effect on someone interrupting you by raising your eyebrows, slowing your speech or it getting quieter, and having a relaxed body position. Send signals that get the point across that you do not want to be interrupted.
For example, if they try and take over the conversation you can use your body language and wave them down to be quiet so you can finish. You can stare them down for a little longer than a glance, like when you would be giving a presentation and you generally would have side bar comments. By staring that person down intently they will understand that you are not finished with what you are saying and stop communicating. Another method is confronting them with, “Can I finish?” It’s a simple method that gets the message across directly and depending on your tone of voice and body language it doesn’t necessarily have to come off as though you are being rude.
While communicating in some tricky situations I have always been curious about the variety of people and how they take constructive criticism. I have already seen it a lot just being here at the NCOA while doing AAR’s or just daily communicating with my peers. It seems as though everyone’s first reaction is to become defensive and angry with whom they are criticized by, and maybe try and “attack” the person that is simply trying to help them out. In reality, we need to collectively understand the true value in it. It identifies our weaknesses to help us become more successful improving skills, relationships, the product of your work, and how ultimately you can become a better leader.
Also understand that the person giving you feedback may be nervous to tell you their opinion on what you need to work on and may not effectively get their message across. Listen to what they have to say and self-reflect on it. Nobody is perfect and while self-reflecting if you believe in the person’s feedback on how you are doing and can understand that it will only make you better, you should ultimately thank them for taking the time to express their concerns and try and help you become more effective in whatever it is the feedback is about. Ask them questions if you don’t quite understand their feedback try and rephrase it and ask it back to them. Being an active listener plays a huge part in being constructively criticized by your peers, subordinates or seniors.
In conclusion, by observing others and self-reflecting and making a conscious effort to understanding how communication works, you will be more aware of the message you are trying to send and also to receive. Communication is absolutely vital because it allows us to share interests, concerns, support each other, organize and make tactful decisions; allowing us to work together effectively in any and all situations.