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You will first read and respond to a statement about grief, reflecting the experience of someone in your professional or personal life. You will also extend your statements to reflect on the many ways in which grief manifests itself.
Then, as a self-evaluation for the course, you will return to the “Competency: Care of Adults 65+” survey completed at the beginning of the course and redo your assessment on the criteria listed. Finally, you will reflect upon how the course has changed your knowledge and skills regarding the care of older adults.
GRIEF is… Grief is the intense emotion that floods life when a person’s inner security system is shattered by an acute loss, usually associated with the death of someone important in his/her life. In more personal terms, grief is a young widow who must find a way to bring up her three children, alone. Grief is the angry reaction of a man so filled with shocked uncertainty and confusion that he strikes out at the nearest person. Grief is the little old lady who goes to the funeral of a stranger and does some unfinished business of her own feelings by crying her eyes out there; she is weeping for herself, for the event she is sure will come, and for which she has so little help in preparing herself. Grief is a mother walking daily to a nearby cemetery to stand quietly alone for a few moments before she goes on about the tasks of the day; she knows that part of her is in the cemetery, just as part of her is in her daily work. Grief is the deep sympathy one person has for another when he wants to do all he can to help resolve a tragic experience.
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Grief is the silent, knifelike terror and sadness that comes a hundred times a day, when you start to speak to someone who is no longer there. Grief is the emptiness that comes when you eat alone after eating with another for years. Grief is the desperate longing for another whose loss you cannot learn to endure. Grief is teaching yourself how to go to bed without saying good night to the one who has died. Grief is the helpless wishing that things were different when you know they are not and never will be again. Grief is a whole cluster of adjustments, apprehensions that strike life in its forward progress and make it difficult to reorganize and redirect the energies of life. Grief is always more than sorrow. Bereavement is the event in personal history that triggers the emotion of grief Mourning is the process by which the powerful emotion is slowly and painfully brought under control. But when doctors speak of grief they are focusing on the raw feelings that are at the center of a whole process that engages the person in adjusting to changed circumstances. They are speaking of the deep fears of the mourner, of his prospects of loneliness, and of the obstacles he must face as he finds a new way of living.
What was the situation, and who was the person involved? (Maintain confidentiality by using only initials.) How did you feel when you read the saying? In what way did the saying reflect your experience or that of someone you know?
My friend died of colon cancer two years ago, and it was very hard on my friends and her family to see her pass away in this way. I read this short excerpt, “You and Your Grief” by Edgar N. Jackson and the great memories of my friend when was well came rushing back to me. We all cared about her very much; we were all very close, her family, friends and I all still feel the pain to this day. The pain I feel from this reminds me that I miss her, and I am glad I can feel this way and wouldn’t have it any other way. I will always cherish the times we had and I will never forget her.
Include specific examples from your experience, the sayings in this exercise, and your readings in this course.
In my experience, grief can come in a variety of different ways, such as a break up, loss of friends, or being separated from your family. I have had to make many sacrifices to get to this point in my life which has cost me a few friendly and romantic relationships. It hurts having to leave the ones you love behind in order to move forward in life. Just as this quote from an unknown author says, “Bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love” is the perfect example of this.
I have also found that grief can happen when you experience losing a pet. I lost the first pet ever gifted to me, my dog, to old age and cancer a few years ago and I remember feeling extremely lost and depressed about his death. According to Wilkie and Rando, avoidance is one of the three broad categories of grief. I felt like I lost my best friend and I tried to hide how I felt and would cry alone in my bed at night. One night my brother heard me crying and came into my room to console me; it took quite awhile for my family and I to move past it.
Final Reflections
- Click on the title of the part 2 section of this final assignment. It will bring you to the same survey that you took week one assessing your geriatric skills and knowledge.
- Take the survey and make a note of the areas that you have improved based on you ratings
- Record your final reflections in the space provided below. Summarize your findings and answer the prompts.
Reflections
For which topics have you experienced the greatest change in knowledge and skills during the course? Why? Cite specific readings or course activities that had the greatest impact on your knowledge and skills in those areas.
Overall, I would say I experienced the greatest change in knowledge by learning about functional status, discharge planning and end of life care. I have learned a lot about older adults and that they all do not have the same loss of functions,such as bladder/bowel incontinence, hearing loss or frailty. End of life care as well as discharge planning are both important to anticipate and it is vital information to relay over to your patients and their families. The act of being prepared during the end stages of life can help facilitate an easier transition into death.
What next steps do you plan to take to continue your professional development in the area of holistic care of older adults?
I plan to be more careful and patient with older adults by doing a thorough intial assessment in order to prevent functional decline and the possible geriatric cascade. I will not make assumptions by treating them as though they are hard of hearing. I will also do my best to keep my patients free of any unnecessary restraints and to keep them safe from falls. Finally and most importantly, I will use the skills obtained in the life review to be more conscious of elders and use it as a basis for understanding. It is important to be able to connect with your patients; compassionate care leads to improved nurse-patient relationships.
