He decided we should wait until we moved into a better neighborhood before having children. (Tan, Joy Luck Club, 119)” Ted decided everything and never asked Rose for her opinion. When he did ask, Rose would say, “Ted, you decide. (Tan, Joy Luck Club, 119)” After Rose always saying this Ted just did everything without asking. This would not last for long. Rose’s attitude of allowing Ted to take control was her way of trying to make Ted happy. She didn’t want to argue; she just wanted them to be happy together.
After an incident happened with Ted at work he wanted Rose to give her opinion. “You can’t have it both ways, none of the responsibility, none of the blame. (Tan, Joy Luck Club, 120)” At this point, Ted is done making all the decisions because if he makes a wrong decision he gets blamed. Rose should also have some responsibility in the marriage. This attitude is different than relationships and marriages in the past. Ted wants her to have a say and choose some things and what they do together. As time went on, Ted wants a divorce because they are unhappy. All Ted did to Rose was make her, “depressed. You were manipulated into thinking you were nothing next to him. And now you think you are nothing without him. (Tan, Joy Luck Club,188)” Rose was always trying to make him happy and took all the baggage and complaints Ted put on her shoulders. The institution of marriage meant so much to her that she did not care how he treated her or that he made her feel like she was nothing. All she tried to do was make him happy, even at her own expense.
Rose thought about something that her mother said to her when she was younger. “A girl is like a young tree,” she said. “You must stand tall and listen to your mother standing next to you. That is the only way to grow strong and straight. But if you bend to listen to other people, you will grow crooked and weak. You will fall to the ground with the first strong wind. And then you will be like a weed, growing wild in any direction, and running along the ground until someone pulls you out and throws you away. (Tan, Joy Luck Club, 191)” This was Rose’s life in a nutshell. She fell into the institution of marriage by her own will, but she hoped it would be good, so she bent to everything that Ted said. Ted controlled her with his words and actions. Rose was not brave enough to stand strong. She stayed in place and started growing like a weed, and now because of this Ted wanted to throw her away (get a divorce).
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