Dear Spicy, Growing up, reading and writing was never a pleasure to me. My first memory of reading was back in kindergarten, crying because I could not read the short story that was being asked of me. This laid the path for my reading and writing career, maybe even my academic career, because I felt that I was not smart enough since I could not read at an early age. I strayed away from reading which lead me to never wanting to write. The thing I despised the most was peer editing, that one of my peers that was supposed to be on the same academic level as me was going to crique and judge my already hideous writing. My relationship with writing changed when I entered high school because of my favorite teachers, Mr. Laird and Ms. O’sick.
Their processes were clear, concise, and interesting which made the process of writing easier for me to comprehend. There was no five paragraph format, no hard structure that we had to follow, just suggestions and guidelines about how to construct your essay. Yes high school helped me see my journey as a writer, but a teacher can not give you confidence. The thing I lack most as a writer is still the confidence to show my piece of work and say yes I wrote this. I do not think I will ever find this confidence as a writer. I want to be able to share my thoughts, ideas, and opinions confidently. Peer editing still scares me to my core, for who am I to judge another one of my peer’s work when I am not confident in my own.
Dear Bophie Banderson, The emotional trauma faced as a child is something everyone has to deal with at one point in their life. Overcoming these challenges we faced prematurely is a significant event in one’s life that if never faced, they will be the ultimate demise of you- in general life, but also in writing. Tell yourself that the central idea of the elementary school system is to categorize you as either a good reader or a bad reader. Tell yourself that this system is broken and the pace at which you have learned to read and write does not determine how smart you are. You are more than this bad childhood memory.
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Think about what you most admired in these teachers, their analysis or their way with words or maybe just their personality. Find the qualities you admire in yourself as a person and use those to strengthen your confidence in writing. What makes you confident in life? Do you use certain hair styles, fashion, or makeup to make you feel more confident? If you are more comfortable in a certain aspect of writing use it until you can not use it anymore, just like if you would choose a certain hairstyle that makes you feel more confident. But this is what you are in college for, specifically this creative writing course, to learn and explore different aspects of writing and the writing process of other notable artists. So you have taken the first step in the right direction, just being here and being present.
