Second Position is used to place yourself as the receiver into the senders’ shoes, to experience not only the situation the individual is in but considers the feelings, thoughts, assumptions and experiences from the senders’ viewpoint (Beebe, 2017). The first position allows you, as the listener to see, hear and feel the situation through hearing, seeing and your own emotions. Throughout this essay, I will reflect and critically analyse the interpersonal skills demonstrated in a discussion between Polly Chester and Sandra Mattner. The essay is to demonstrate the ability on how to communicate effectively while using first position and second position skills, outlining strengths and weaknesses, while also providing Polly suggestions on areas to improve for future conversations.
Polly situates herself within Sandra’s shoes, to experience how work has been in the last week, by asking Sandra “How have things been going for you on the rehab ward this week?” (Chester, 2019), allowing Polly to agree that working in the rehab ward has been challenging. The use of Open Questioning allows the sender to deliver in-depth answers to the receiver, enabling the sender to feel that what is being said, is interesting to the receiver (O’Toole, 2012). Polly had said to Sandra “with insufficient information on case notes, it makes it more time consuming for me in the end, because then I have to chase you up and follow up with you about your case notes, and that makes my job harder in the end.” (Chester, 2019). Polly stood up for herself and the way incomplete case notes impacted on her ability to perform well at work, unfortunately allowing Sandra to become defensive.
Polly displayed a wide range of weaknesses and strengths when conversing with Sandra. Polly, in the beginning, maintained a calm and open posture, eye contact, sitting squarely with Sandra (Chester, 2019). Polly used minimal encouragers, to demonstrate that the conversation was being understood and followed, but also encouraged Sandra to continue speaking, so Polly could indulge in further information, allowing the ability to place herself into the second position (Blonner et al, 2011).
127 our experts are availableright now
Polly engaged in further understanding of what Sandra has been experiencing with the use of Open Questions, for a more in-depth answer. Polly used Open Questions to place herself in the Second Position, to experience the situation for herself as if she were in Sandra’s shoes. Polly attempted to ask an open question on how to improve Sandra’s progress notes, by asking “Is there something that can happen differently for you to write more complete case notes?” (Chester, 2019), by asking this question, Polly attempted to meet in the middle with Sandra, on how to complete the progress notes, however, Polly continued saying ‘I am finding it difficult to work with you.” (Chester, 2019) By Polly discussing this feeling with Sandra, the conversation now has an increase in tension, causing emotion to slowly take over, creating an impact on the conversation.
As the conversation was impacted with emotion, Polly utilized the avoidance style. Polly recognized the conversation between herself and Sandra involved too much emotion, did not want to risk the relationship between both individuals breaking down, therefore saying “I am detecting some sarcasm in your voice, I think we have reached a stalemate within the conversation at this time, so I am going to go and maybe we can pick it up another time when we are both less emotional.” (Chester, 2019)
By Polly ceasing the conversation, this allows time for both individuals to reflect on the situation and the way the situation was handled, allowing for both Sandra and Polly to come back into the conversation in a mindset to meet a win/win approach where both parties meet in the middle and come to an agreeance (Reece, 2011). Polly avoided the use of the first position, by going into the conversation and placing blame on Sandra, as Polly could not perform well on her shift, due to Sandra’s incomplete case notes, by saying “I cannot do my job if you do not do yours.’ (Chester, 2019). As a result of this statement by Polly, there is potential for an emotional barrier to emerge between the two, causing Sandra to feel as if there is blame being placed on her due to the ineffective “I” Message being relayed to her.
As a result of ineffective communication, workplace conflict can potentially arise, creating the relationship between Polly and Sandra to break down, a feeling of resentment as well as putting the patient’s well-being, in both Sandra and Polly’s care, at risk. Lastly, the weakness that Polly also displays is mirroring the defensive behaviour of Sandra, decreasing the rate of communication. The defensive mirroring is displayed when Sandra is talking about the opinion that Polly has regarding the way Sandra completes her admin time, where Polly aggressively replies with ‘My opinion.’ (Chester, 2019) as a result of this mirroring effect, Sandra and Polly’s conversation progresses further in breaking down, evidently displaying Polly’s decrease in eye contact and increase in appearing uncomfortable.
Polly has displayed both strengths and weaknesses throughout the dialogue, evidently creating a barrier preventing the conversation between both herself and Sandra, preventing the conversation moving forward to reach a solution that caters for both parties.
Polly could assist Sandra in improving the case notes by arranging a time to meet, sit down and discuss how to appropriately construct progress notes that are clear and concise, therefore meeting a Win/Win approach (Reece, 2011). Sandra is benefitting from learning how to write the case notes within an allocated time frame and Polly is benefitting from Sandra, as the case notes are completed in an appropriate format. Polly could liaise with Sandra and together reassess the workload, allowing Sandra to complete the case notes that are required at the end of each shift, designating a time longer than 10 minutes.
Polly could approach Sandra when the time is right, such as; in a noise-free environment, minimal distractions or interruptions via other staff members, in a calm environment, promoting a relaxing, tension easing interaction between both Polly and Sandra stabilizing the relationship between the two (Reece, 2011).
When the time is right bot both Polly and Sandra to pick up on the conversation again, Polly may focus on her tone of voice, stable eye contact, along with the usage of firm gestures with a good posture. By doing so, Polly will give off the impression to Sandra that she is serious about the conversation that is taking place. Polly would also benefit from taking the time to reflect on her delivery of I messages to Sandra and how the delivery of these messages could be better (Reece, 2011). Polly’s evaluation and reflection of her delivery of I messages will allow the delivery to be clear, avoiding the intent to blame, threat or demand action from Sandra, agreeing on a method that will accommodate both individuals (Reece, 2011).
Polly could relay her message across to Sandra about how she feels with the use of ‘I’ message by saying ‘I feel overwhelmed when case notes are not completed clearly and concisely, as it affects the way I perform the delivery of my care during the shift. Would you feel comfortable in making a time to sit together and come up with a solution that suits us both.?’By delivering this message, it would allow Sandra to place herself in Polly’s shoes and acknowledge the impact that the incomplete notes are having on the way Polly performs, but also offering a time to go over the case notes and assist her in making them easier within a 10-minute timeframe.
Next, Polly needs to negotiate effectively. Polly can place herself in the mindset of “I need to help Sandra, not hurt her in the process to get what I want.” Again, promoting the win/win approach for both parties, but decreasing the likelihood of a relationship breaking down, avoiding conflict while also considering the well-being of patients and how they may be affected due to the conflict (Reece, 2011).
As an Enrolled Nurse and Case Manager working within the community caring for elders, I tend to take my work seriously, failing to remember that I do have colleagues who are at times, not on the same level of focus for their clients. I work with a middle-aged lady, who has just returned from her third placement as an Enrolled Nurse. Upon my colleague leaving for placement, some care plans were meant to be done, for the clients to have a smooth home care service without delays.
I was notified of these client’s services commencing, I had to print out the care plans in preparation to send off via mail, only to discover, they were incomplete. on her behalf I was unable to do her job, potentially neglecting staff that were being sent, unable to complete their tasks during the service.
When my colleague returned, I had discussed with her that due to these care plans not being completed, I was not able to send them, leaving the home support workers to do a service, without that piece of paper telling them how to do their job. I believe I came across in a non-assertive way, mainly coming across as aggressive, as the responses received back were defensive.
Upon my time reflecting on how I could have handled the situation better, I confronted my colleague, in a positive manner, and apologized for the rude and abrupt way I came across when delivering a message. I went into the conversation a second time with the intent not to blame, threat or demand, but to show to her that I was serious about this situation and if there was some way that we could meet in the middle, to prevent this from happening the next time, she is due to go on placement.
I took the time to reflect on my first conversation between myself and my colleague, I noticed that the way that I spoke to her had impacted our workplace relationship, as she was defensive, which i understand due to how I approached the situation could have been appeared as unprofessional, allowing her to experience that when the care plans aren’t done, it impacts the work that the home support worker provides, therefore leaving dissatisfied clients, which is frustrating. I approached her the second time, with a better mindset and owned up to the first conversation as the wrong way to approach situations with another person. By placing myself in the second position, I was able to understand what my colleague was experiencing and offered to assist her to better equip herself for the next rotation she goes on for nursing school.
Conclusion
In conclusion, throughout the video, Polly presented herself to the audience by going in and out of the second position, the first position, and demonstrating strengths and weaknesses throughout the conversation between her and Sandra. Suggestions have been made on where to improve and how to improve in hopes for Polly to utilize the information before going into the conversation a second time with Sandra about her case notes, in hopes to come to an agreeance that suits both individuals. Through personal experience, I have also demonstrated that I have lacked in skills when conversing with other individuals within my workplace, and how I had overcome the problem, by reflecting and evaluating, going into the conversation a second time, delivering the “I” message without the intent to place blame, threat or demand from the receiver.
