Amy Tan’s essay, “Fish Cheeks,” explains the difficulty of deciphering where the origin lies between fitting in and forgetting who we are. Tan explains her experience as a young lady of both American and Chinese ethnicity. Tan’s background is what creates the acceptance of herself through the eyes of her crush Robert, the son of the pastor of her church.
In Tan’s mind, the slim “American nose” and miniskirt are more appealing to Robert than her ordinary appearance. Tan acknowledges the event as being a “shabby Chinese Christmas,” stressing her newfound disgust in her family’s traditions, invoked by her perception of what Robert may perceive. At that point, Tan was unhappy and even embarrassed by her family and their traditions, stating: “On Christmas Eve I saw that my mother had outdone herself in creating a strange menu.”
Tan’s description of the menu was a complete contradiction to what would have been her untainted thoughts. Tan herself had realized that her actions were not determined by Robert’s presence, but blurred by her determination to impress Robert. Tan stated near the end of the piece: “It wasn’t until many years later—long after I had gotten over my crush on Robert—that I was able to fully appreciate her lesson and the true purpose behind our particular menu. For Christmas Eve that year, she had chosen all my favorite foods.”
This reaction provokes her original comments toward the food, and explains how as a person, Tan realized that individuality makes a person who they are, and who the person is, should make them happy. Is fitting in worth it?
