The death of a loved one can have a profound emotional and psychological effect on the family. According to the Canadian Institute for Health Information, (2011), death is a phenomenon that affects every one of us. Before our own death, most of us experience death through the passing of our loved ones. This paper is a reflective note using the LEARN (look; elaborate; analyze; revise; new perspective/direction) reflective model. The leitmotif of this reflection is the death of my father and my grieving process. Look The LEARN reflective model addresses a specific event that happened in my life when I was sixteen-years old. It addresses the death of my father, and the grieving process in which I experienced. Elaborate My father died at the age of forty-five from a heart attack. It still feels like yesterday, as I remember vividly what occurred the day of his passing. I can vividly remember the night my father died, as he was found slumped in his chair while watching television. I was in a state of shock, devasted, and in disbelief that I could not save him from dying. As I reflect on the day of his funeral, the lowering of his casket made me feel that a part of me would be gone forever. My father’s death still resonates within me, as I remember the feelings of not been able to breathe; it felt like the world stopped existing and everything had no meaning.
As I reflect on my faith, I persisted to ask myself the question “why did God take my father away?”. I kept perseverating on the idea of no longer being with my father, and many unanswered questions lingered through in my mind. I kept asking myself the question of “how will I be able to live without my father; Who will I turn to with all my problems?”. My father was my hero as I l looked up to him in every way. I emulated his ways, and I wanted to be just like him. My father held a significant emotional place in my heart, he was my confidant. It was difficult for me to accept that death took him away from me. The months following my father’s death were especially tough for me, my grief was overwhelming. This self-realization enabled med me to realize that I had taken the time we had together for granted. Analyze A month following the death of my father, I found myself in a state of depression. I felt as if I was isolated and overwhelmed with grief. My social life deteriorated as I became less socially active. Behaviors as such are described by Wardecker et al. (2017), “Stated that the loss of a parent is associated with an increased risk for emotional and behavioral difficulties such as depression, anxiety and substance abuse”.
This statement accurately describes my feelings, since at the time I would not engage with my peers, I would not communicate with anyone. I was withdrawn from my friends and even my family; I was hiding from everyone. As the months went by, I found solace in church as my family pastor would often visit me in my dark room and read verses from the bible and my grief became more manageable. Revise As stated in Wardecker (2017), “ Recent research suggests that certain forms of communication between surviving caregivers and their bereaved youth can positively shape children response to loss”. In relation to this, every member of my family was very supportive especially my mother. They saw me through my grief process and shown me unconditional love. Furthermore, during the time of my grief, I learned the value of appreciating my immediate and extended family. I learned the value of spending time together. I came to the realization that we should cherish every moment we have on earth as tomorrow is never guaranteed. By this I mean everyone is destined to die and death can occur unexpectedly. Moreover, the death of my father has increased my appreciation for life. My father’s death made me realized the importance of appreciating and caring for loved ones, since prior to my father’s death I did not understand how important the people in my life are. In retrospect, the death of my father has made me realize the value of life, and how to show care towards loved ones. Thus, as a future nurse, perpetuating care is of the utmost value to me. Upholding this value will enable me to provide holistic and patient centered care. In addition, nursing symbolizes caring and nurturing, it demonstrates compassion and empathy towards those that are unable to care for themselves.
Similarly, through the death of my father I learned to incorporate the act of caring for everyone I encounter in my life, towards my family, and that I will show to patients. I believe this attitude and mindset will enhance my practice as a future nurse, the act of caring for others is paramount to my practice as a nurse. It will help me to enhance the well-being of the patient. Thus, through this experience I have learned that you will never know when it is going to be your last chance to show care and compassion.